I have a bit of a dilemma that i would like to share with you all, without of course sharing names or any really specific details. But this is going to be difficult, so try and follow along and respond as best you can...

I have this "acquaintence." To be most specific, she is my soetime arch nemesis, sometime bosom buddy Mr.Hampster's sister. my problem isn't so much wioth her or how she treats people or her constant back and forth with me. My problem is with myself.

Mr.Hampster's sister is, in my mind, the number two reason why Mr.Hampster and I didn't get married and have 10 babies. (I am reason number one if you must know) She is coniving and backstabbing an self involved... But I feel for her. This world is cruel and it's easier to conform to it than anything. I feel like I could be exactly like her if I just gave up and gave in to the pressures of the world. The "You have to be perfect" pressure. The "You have to have a boyfriend" Pressure. The "You have to be too awesome or no one will even notice" Pressure. I feel like I could ruin people and then befriend them when they have no one else if only to turn them off to the world like i have been tainted if I only gave up... I guess that's why I have such a problem (when we're friends) when people talk about her. I have been caught in the gossip wave that is the topic of her and her behavior. But everytime I am "in her in group" so to speak, I feel this upswelling of compassion for her lost state. I feel like if she just had some dependable, steadying influence, she would stop being irratic and undependable and she would become the sweet, caring, funny person she can be when you're on her good side. But I don't know for sure if that would work for her because I can't seem to consent to being that influence. I can't seem to be nice to her all the time. I can't seem to have this compassion for her all the time. I am just not strong enough to help her.

What's a girl to do?

There is just no easy way to be completely loyal to someone who you hate for 9 months out of the year...