PS
Mr.Geri (aka Mr.I'm going to string you along until you think I actually like you then drop you faster than a sack of rotting potatoes and send you home to your mommy) is back in town (twice in one month, what the hell.) Needless to say, this probably won't be anything big, but if my life were actually a soap opera with a team of writers plotting my every move, this could land me pregnant and drunk (or visa versa... whatever...)
Wow... good times...
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
So high school is officially over at my friend brit-toe-knee has indefinitely pointed out to me. College has started and NO ONE, no, not NO ONE cares about anyone anymore.
I made the mistake of thinking that atleast SOME people might stick around. SILLY ME thinking that my BEST FRIEND of four years might JUST MIGHT not fall off the face of the earth. SILLY ME, thinking that when Mr. FutureMillionaire said that he still had feelings for me that HE MEANT IT and that it actually carried some weight. WHY WOULD I THINK LIKE THAT? Why would I make such an insane estimate of careless, meaningless POINTLESS words? Why would I expect my CLOSEST FRIEND to forgive me and want to be with me like he said he would? I should have never even thought that he might talk to me again. I should have known that he would disappear. THAT'S JUST HOW LIFE IS after high school...
So much for men I guess. Even my "always there never fear I'll catch you when you fall" man has faded in the storm. I guess that's just how it is.
Wow, crumbled cookies are so RIDICULOUS.
I made the mistake of thinking that atleast SOME people might stick around. SILLY ME thinking that my BEST FRIEND of four years might JUST MIGHT not fall off the face of the earth. SILLY ME, thinking that when Mr. FutureMillionaire said that he still had feelings for me that HE MEANT IT and that it actually carried some weight. WHY WOULD I THINK LIKE THAT? Why would I make such an insane estimate of careless, meaningless POINTLESS words? Why would I expect my CLOSEST FRIEND to forgive me and want to be with me like he said he would? I should have never even thought that he might talk to me again. I should have known that he would disappear. THAT'S JUST HOW LIFE IS after high school...
So much for men I guess. Even my "always there never fear I'll catch you when you fall" man has faded in the storm. I guess that's just how it is.
Wow, crumbled cookies are so RIDICULOUS.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I haven't actually written much in the way of substance lately. I guess the only reason for that is my hectic schedule, my two week tropical vacation and the fact that I have talked it all out of me. Yes, talked intelligently and at length with the one, the only, the nearly married Mr.Paramour. (I told you this was getting interesting.) He got mad at me today because I lied to my mom about being out with him. (She says I don't know what I'm getting myself into- obviously not because I didn't know I was getting into anything...) I got mad at him because he lied to his fiance about being out with me today.
"I told her I'm not taking any more of her shit, I'ma tell her straight up, yeah I'm hangin out with her and what, y'namean?-- hol' upHallo?... Yeah baby I miss you too.... uh-huh... nah baby I'm at the pool ... oh you just talkin to my dumbass, huh? (verbatim, I swear!) oh you gonna call you other boyfriend huh?... yeah, she here...."
What the hell is that, do tell? "Don't care about what they say, I don't listen to her, I just tell her "yeah babe I am gonna talk to Louise, what about it"MY ARSE. "Don't let what my psycho no good girlfriend has to say baout you or to you get to you, but let me lie to her so she don'tknow I'm hanging out with you" I HATE THIS. I HATE HIM TELLING ME EVERYTHING. I HATE BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM. I HATE THAT HE'S WITH HER. I HATE THAT SHE'S SUCH A DOG. I just generally hate this situation. Her family doesn't like him, his doesn't like her, HE doesn't love her, She tries to control every breath he takes.... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ADULTS? I swear i wish I could just be married and not ever even have the chance to get this involved in someone else's relationship.
Oh yeah and guess who the cat drug in for kelly's wedding saturday all the way from sunny Texas? Mr.Mr. Mr. "I'm too old for you but I'll be friends with you no matter what they say untill it bugs me and then I'll just treat you like something my dog ate and threw up on my carpet" came up for a nice little visit...
"wow, I haven't talked to you in a while, a guess since even before I left... yeah sorry about that... well I hear you're doing well... yeah yeah I'm fine..."
WHY DID HE HAVE TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT? I always fell for those sad lonely littlle puppy eyes. DAMN HIM AND HIS EYES! Lookin' at me like that getting me all worked up inside like things weren't ridiculous when he left. Looking at me like he didn't break my heart and make me cry unneccesarily when he listened to every words they said and just turned everything off to me. Looking at me like he didn't give up on our friendship just as easily as he packed up and moved on home with barley a word. Damn him so swooping back in here like that with those eyes.... :(
Oh well...
Mr.Hampster is finally leaving. I haven't talked to him since graduation when, oh yes, he called me a whore infront of everyone on stage at rehersal... I am so glad now that he's leaving. I'm sad that he's a self-centered, pig-headed, unfeeling, low-life, uptight, self-righteous, incestueous dog and that's why we'll never be together. But I think him leaving will be okay. Good even.
But, with college season approaching, many more departures will also inevitably insue. Miss.Loquacious, who I have managed not to kill yet even after all we've been through, is leaving. As is previously unmentioned Cowgirl. (yes, like ye-haw- she's going to school to become a horse TRADER, not TRAINER, mind you)
What ever shall I do all alone and alonely?
1 Samuel 20:42 to all I know and knew.
"I told her I'm not taking any more of her shit, I'ma tell her straight up, yeah I'm hangin out with her and what, y'namean?-- hol' up
What the hell is that, do tell? "Don't care about what they say, I don't listen to her, I just tell her "yeah babe I am gonna talk to Louise, what about it"MY ARSE. "Don't let what my psycho no good girlfriend has to say baout you or to you get to you, but let me lie to her so she don'tknow I'm hanging out with you" I HATE THIS. I HATE HIM TELLING ME EVERYTHING. I HATE BEING FRIENDS WITH HIM. I HATE THAT HE'S WITH HER. I HATE THAT SHE'S SUCH A DOG. I just generally hate this situation. Her family doesn't like him, his doesn't like her, HE doesn't love her, She tries to control every breath he takes.... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ADULTS? I swear i wish I could just be married and not ever even have the chance to get this involved in someone else's relationship.
Oh yeah and guess who the cat drug in for kelly's wedding saturday all the way from sunny Texas? Mr.Mr. Mr. "I'm too old for you but I'll be friends with you no matter what they say untill it bugs me and then I'll just treat you like something my dog ate and threw up on my carpet" came up for a nice little visit...
"wow, I haven't talked to you in a while, a guess since even before I left... yeah sorry about that... well I hear you're doing well... yeah yeah I'm fine..."
WHY DID HE HAVE TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT? I always fell for those sad lonely littlle puppy eyes. DAMN HIM AND HIS EYES! Lookin' at me like that getting me all worked up inside like things weren't ridiculous when he left. Looking at me like he didn't break my heart and make me cry unneccesarily when he listened to every words they said and just turned everything off to me. Looking at me like he didn't give up on our friendship just as easily as he packed up and moved on home with barley a word. Damn him so swooping back in here like that with those eyes.... :(
Oh well...
Mr.Hampster is finally leaving. I haven't talked to him since graduation when, oh yes, he called me a whore infront of everyone on stage at rehersal... I am so glad now that he's leaving. I'm sad that he's a self-centered, pig-headed, unfeeling, low-life, uptight, self-righteous, incestueous dog and that's why we'll never be together. But I think him leaving will be okay. Good even.
But, with college season approaching, many more departures will also inevitably insue. Miss.Loquacious, who I have managed not to kill yet even after all we've been through, is leaving. As is previously unmentioned Cowgirl. (yes, like ye-haw- she's going to school to become a horse TRADER, not TRAINER, mind you)
What ever shall I do all alone and alonely?
1 Samuel 20:42 to all I know and knew.
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