"The voice returns like the insistent out-of-tune
Of a broken Violin on an August afternoon
'I am always sure that you understand
My feelings, always sure that you feel,
Sure that across the gulf you reach your hand'"

The poor fool.

Well, I lost but atleast he's not gay. Good luck staying sane Joe. :)

THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRITS NOT A COCONUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRITS NOT A COCONUT IF YOU WANNA BE A COCONUT, YOU MIGHT AS WELL EAT IT, CAUSE THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT'S NOT A COCONUT. THE FRUITS ARE LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF CONTROL. LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, AND SELF CONTROL.

Yeah, by that song I'm a produce stand.... right?
Ba-ha.
No seriously, I try, really I do. But there are a lot of 'ness' in there that need to be taken into account... I mean, really, I just learned the song, can anyone really expect me to play it out? Oh well, for those that read AND understood, I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. For those that didn't read/ didn't understand; yes, I'm always like this. Well, I'd better go find something on which to spend my energy. A Demain. Je t'aime avec tout de mon couer...

P.S. ASANTI SANA SQUASHED BANANA.

Okay now that thats out of my system, I think I found my Mr. Bunny. For those of you that don't know, as usual, don't ask, it may prove frightening to know what that name might mean, but for those of you that understand the rodentia allusion, yes, he really will allow them.... AND the carrot cake.

This guy is amazing. He's smart and charming and strong and sweet and even a little abrassive, which I like. The best part is, I think he might actually like me. For real for real. And if he doesn't, I won't die. Thats how I know it's cool. Because I'm cool with or without it as long as I know whatever will be is meant to be. I think now after all I've been through, that this kind of someone is just what I need. Not someone that I'm so in love with I'd die for. And not someone that's a Prince Charming. Someone REAL. Something TANGIBLE. Not a dream that couldn't possible be real. Just a normal guy who I have normal, in control feelings for. Maybe no one else gets this, and maybe no one has to. But I get it. I feel safe and most importantly STABLE. Let's just hope it pulls through. No rush though. I'm not going anywhere too important that I can't slow down and wait...

Finally...

Yeah, if that were all true, you could have looked me in the eyes and said it. You know that monkey I mentioned before? His name is reality and arabian coconuts are harder than they seem....

Ow.

eww... thats all that can be said for some and MORE than should be said for others...

UGH! why do I bother? whats in it for me? Why do I not just consent with myself to remove his sn from my buddylist, stay out of JCPenny's and just freaking forget about him? Why do I read his blog, full of anything but me, and if I am in there it's bad, or worse, passive? WHY DO I BOTHER???

I know nothing is ever going to change and, if I listened to him, it would be all my fault, but I just can't help but try.So I love and I can't let go. So what? Everytime I talk to him, I want to just call out to him, I want to grab on to him and tell him I'm not letting go until a monkey comes and pounds on my head with an arabian coconut. But I don't. Because I have atleast consented not to bother. So instead I DO NOTHING. I talk and I sit and I wait and I wonder, but I don't DO ANYTHING. I don't forget, I don't move on, I don't think rationally.... Whats the point of having a heart if all it does is get broken and stay that way?

I have a date to homecoming. So that's hot right? It be hotter if this guy were like Mr. Right, but hey, with all the Mr.'s in my life, I could use a Mr. Friend- enough- to- go- to- homecoming- period. No confussion, no feelings, just crappy music and hot sweaty people to make fun of. And hell, any date beats the date I had last year. Nice guy, but wow that was dumb of me. For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, just thank your lucky stars your life isn't half as complex as mine. And if you do know, for the last time, he doesn't usually act like that.

Haha, just joking, Mr. Heartbreaker.

I'm naming my kid Roscoe Boscoe Picotrain. I could never get mad at it if I did. The name just makes me giggle too much. ...

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do

Me: All the Guys I even think are cool must have built in monitors that scream "WARNING WARNING CRAZY PSYCHO LOUISE COMING THIS WAY RUN FAST WARNING WARNING"
Mr. Danciepants: "They have those?"

Okay so I talked to Mr.Geri.... he needs a new name.... Mr....no that would give it away... Hmmm... Mr.Mr, and I told him what was up. That I had a major crush on him and that people were talk talk talking their little hearts out about nothing. So maybe I didn't have to tell him flat out that I had a crush on him, but let's be serious, he def. knew, cause duh, it's me and I am Ms. Obvious. But anyways I apologized because if I didn't have a crush on him, none of this would be happening and I told him I would just lay low. The main thing that annoyed me was the fact that people didn't feel they could come to me and ask me, "Hey are you and Mr.Mr. doing something we should know about?". Because it makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE to talk about it behind our backs and get the "truth" from others who are speculating as well, right? But he said to just tell My 2 friends who were being asked all the questions to tell the nosy people to come to him if they had a problem. oo rah. lol, he didn't say oo rah, but if he had I would have laughed. Then he ever so politely asked "AND HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL" lol, again not his wording but close ("and how do you feel about all of this?") I'm just peachy freakin' keen... another guy I like that I'm not allowed to/ supposed to/ or even close to being with. FIGURES. Oh well I really am okay, I'm used to it. In fact, the time that I have a crush on a guy that can/might/or possibly likes me back may even be a bit of a problem.

I talk about guys a lot don't I?

Oh well... Hey you know whats annoying? "Hey.... you're that girl on the annoucements.... aren't you?" NO I JUST RESEMBLE HER IN STYLE, SPEECH, AND CLOTHING. rrrr....

Volleyball hurts. Play poker instead. (not with a real poker.)

I'm going in the Navy no matter what my english teacher says and thats FINAL.

Read the story of Elijah. I think it's in kings.... not too sure thgough... just read it.
See you at the flagpole, September 17th, 2003 at 7am.

Okay so here's the question du jour.
Since when did having a crush mean that the relationship the crushess has with the crushee is innappropriate?
I'm a little lost as to when flirting began to hurt my reputation as a chick. So okay I have a crush on Mr.... hmm... these names are getting a bit difficult... Mr. Geri(atrics) Anyways, Mr. Geri is nice and he humors me and whatnot. We have playful INNOCENT flirtation (by innocent I mean he pokes me in the stomach and I poke him back). Now ALL OF A SUDDEN two people that know me pretty well come up to me (seperately) and are like "You're ruining your reputation" and "the apperance of evil is just as bad!" WHAT? APPERANCE OF EVIL? I think people's imaginations are out of control. But what ever. I just hope Mr. Geri isn't mad, this is all my fault after all.... He def. needs a new name.... he's hotter than that name makes him out to be...


I'M A CHRISTIAN NOT AN EXTREMIST (in case you couldn't tell the difference) :)