Yes, it's true.

"But Girl, are you sure?"


There are a million and one things to think about when saying yes to someone. For one, What are they really asking you to do? Is a simple lunch date to you really the best chance this person has to collect some of your hair for the alter in their closet?

By saying yes when someone asks you to babysit are you really signing your life away to an ungrateful mom who will call you every Friday night?

By telling someone you love them, does that mean that life is over? That you have made a choice between that person and every other passionate dream you may have ever had?

When I asked the guy that set The Boy and I up for an account of The Boy, I had no idea his answer would be "He's tall." But that was the perfect answer for the beginning of the most calming, delightful, and comfortable relationship I have ever been involved in.

Last night I was trying to figure out why we work so well together. Turns out, it is written in the stars. Taurus and Scorpio are destined to be a loyal, formidable, fantastically passionate couple. He is a strong, constant earth sign with a determined nature. His love of possession and my love of power make us a pair to be reckoned with in the job market. I will teach him to never settle and to always wonder at life and he will teach me that sometimes life is just a four letter word. In short, we have always been intended. If you believe all that mumbo-jumbo.

The question is, what does it mean to say yes to this boy? To say "Yes, I love you?" To say "Yes I will love you?"

To say "Yes" to The Boy is to whisper his name onto every doorstep. To wear his heart on my sleeve. To have people see his light on my face.

To say "Yes" is to take this man in front of me and see him for what he is- stripped of florid poetry, devoid of sparkling entreaties, silent and waiting for one word.

To say "Yes" is to hold him in my heart, to let him walk beside me, to be unafraid to show him all of my faults, to share with him every thought he begs and some he could never imagine.

To trust.
To want.
To share.
To see.

To say "Yes" is to turn to him and admit that I am unsure of what it means but I am willing to find the definition together.

A Laugh and a Moment of Pride

"And then He walked right up to me and I started to melt-"

"Ooo, melting into a pool of desire, I knew this story would get good sometime," Young playfully twisted her long hair around his finger and laughed as she shoved his shoulder. If he were a marble, the force would have rolled him right out of bed. But he wasn't, and besides, his leg was intertwined with hers.

"No- no Young not at all. Melting like jello melts on a hot day. First I lost my edges, sort of blurred. Then my form shrank and shrank. Not into a puddle, but into a blob."

"Ooo, melting into a blob of Benny. I knew this story would get good sometime," Young knew that if he didn't pace his jokes, she might take him seriously and stop talking in fear of his review like she so often did. Young was no mind reader; Benny's words were precious, sparkling, vibrant love affairs with his mind one simple syllable at a time.

"ANYHOW-" her eyes turned a playful glance to Young. He knew he was in safe resounding territory if only she would keep her eyes beaming brightly on him.

"As I was saying, I just melted Young. I mean I had no control over what I said to him, how I reacted to what he said to me- oh, just everything fell apart." Tragic Benny was nearly one hundred times more adorable than Standard Issue Benny.

"Well what happened after you turned into a gellataneous mass?"

"Nothing. He said 'Goodbye,' and 'It was nice seeing you,' and I just shook my head in accord and walked back to my car."

"What? No dramatic kiss, no sweet reverie of oneness with your former love?"

"I hardly even know what he said Young let alone what I felt. And no- it wasn't like that anyhow..."

Young laughed to him self, "What you remembered your brilliant, handsome, loving boyfriend at home and you realized no matter what you and he had it couldn't even be called love when compared to-"

"Yes, of course, darling all of that... but Young?"

"Yes, Benny, ma cherie, my love, my sweet," At that he grabbed her decidedly until she nearly floated to him off of the bed and kissed her neck until her hair stood on end. She gently pressed her hand in protest against his arm, and gave in with a giggle.

"Well, Young, he was kind of..."

"What Benny? Fat? Married? Unemployed? Crippled for life?"

"Ha- Well, almost all of the above. Fat, Divorced, Unemployed and needy, to say the least."

"You must have gleaned something from the conversation then, to gather all of that."

She supposed she did. Or maybe Benny just knew all to well that downtrodden face of former loves.

Of Love and the Old and New

Many strange, awkward, unnerving and delightful things can happen in a year left open and unrestricted. Let's take a look.

In January, I was cold and unfeeling. Numb by to much work and absolutely no sleep or reflection, I had not allowed myself to heal or dream or cry or think about what had happened to me- to my marriage, to my essence. I alienated everyone around me because I was exhausted, angry, hurt and worst of all, hopeless. Hopeless for a future without the previous pains. Hopeless for a future that would be bright enough to cast away the shadows of my sins and failures.

February was a turning point not only of the year but of my life. For once, I followed impulses in me that lead to something good. Something productive. Something Me. I started school for the spring semester and connected. New people. New thoughts. New hopes. I remembered my plans and dreams pre-ruination and picked up where I left off with more fervor and dedication than I thought possible.

March came in much the same. Work, school, life, coffee breaks, term papers, presentations, new friends- it all blended into one beautiful mosaic. Until he came along. Until I noticed the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen. Untill I marveled at someone so like me that his oneness reached out and playfully tapped me on the nose.

The Boy and I met on an off chance at a local bar when I randomly accepted an invitation for drinks and rousing conversation with new friends. So randomly, I surprised myself. And then there he was. All of his tallness, quiet observation and poliet conversation in one essence. I made a fool out of myself as usual over him and thought nothing of it until there we were, answering text messages. There he was, calling me back. Here we were, chatting it up, making friends, going on dates, drinking, laughing, singing, loving.

In April we drank our weight in Bourbon and traveled down the coast to the ocean side. In May we spent warming nights talking about nothing and learning everything. In June we saw DC and laughed at it. In July we enjoyed family functions and moments of calm love. August was the month of a million text messages, September through November were just the same measures of quiet, sure, strong love I had grown accustomed to. December was christmas and cheer and holly and carols and sparkling love. And January is a new love. A true love. A blue love. A love where we don't say "If," we say "When."

The love of a Boy isn't everything. It just made everything seem more important this year. More possible. More tangible. Getting an A on my report card was exciting because The Boy would be proud of me. Seeing Hawaii alone was sad but hopeful because he will see it and love it as I do one day. He made the sad moments bearable and the bright moments brighter. Like a good wine, the love of a Boy who has a love for this girl was an accent to a fine meal of a year. A fulfilling, warming, nourishing year that I just haven't had enough of yet.