JOE: hey, i wanted to leave a comment on ur blog but i have to sign up and all that crap and i dont feel like doing that, so here it is: I dont think that the reason alot of your friends that are now going to college have lost touch with you is because of them being full of themselves or any kind of egotistical attitude they may posses.

JOE: ive lost touch with about 3 of my best friends, and sometimes i really just dont have any explanation for it but i can atleast tell you my theory on the loss of communication between recently-distanced friends. I just think its like you said earlier in the entry, "everyone comes to a point in there lives at which they realize that they hate their major, prospective jobs and their new friend and new identity" but in this case its occuring during an important part of their lives, where alot of things change and usually alot of people change along with their lifestyles.

JOE: and sometimes those people just cant be motivated towards kindling those old friendships anymore, because there life is so different now, it could almost be possible that meeting for the first time with that person after this change in their lives wouldnt result in any friendship at all. Ok, well i know that was a ton of shit to say at once but i guess i get my really long and exhaustive blog commenting habits from brandon :-P

JOE: lol sorry

thebadgummybear: thats ok
thebadgummybear: and I understand, my life is different too
thebadgummybear: but my collegiate friends think I'm wasting away to nothing and they're becoming presumptious pious images of their former selves and it hurts

JOE: you've gotten alot more like... i guess talented with your wording, have you been reading more or something?

thebadgummybear: no I've always been this genius, no one's ever listened
thebadgummybear: lol
JOE: i dont think your wasting your life, but like ive seen, in this society we live it, its expected by so many people to go off to some magical career or college right after school is over, and some people cant accept when someone doesnt take that route
JOE: no ive listened, but im having flashbacks to ms browns class with all the dignified vocab
thebadgummybear: I know! all these expectations! I can't take the pressure of modern civilization
JOE: its like, you have always spoken clearly, but now when you choose words, it seems you choose the ones that have the most... influence
JOE: lol
thebadgummybear: I like you
thebadgummybear: you're a smart kid
thebadgummybear: lol
JOE: we're both smart kids
JOE: and we should have a little pride in that, its healthy
thebadgummybear: I do have pride, I think thats why, in that rant atleast, I was so vehement about telling everyone off
thebadgummybear: I'm still intelligent and intellectually fruitful, even though I'm not getting any "education"
JOE: lol yea i can really get like that sometimes too, but for me, its like when i get emotional, my emotions just ride on the words i use and i can say alot more than i mean to, or in a much harsher manner than is needed to stress my point

JOE: yea for me, my education is more of a review of everything ive already learned in highschool

thebadgummybear: I get more verbose the more aggrivated I am
JOE: haha same here
thebadgummybear: thats why people are afraid to fight me, I pull out words that have proverbial dust on them, they're so infrequently spewn
thebadgummybear: that scares a good many "intellectuals" into hiding
thebadgummybear: i love being a smart provacator


see? I'm still a friggin' genius. NA NA NA NA NA NA! (RASPBERRY)

Fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends
Walk with me, Robbie D
through the park and by the tree
we will rest upon the ground
and look at all the bugs we found
safely walk to school without a sound
safely walk to school without a sound
Here we are, no one else
we walked to school all by ourselves
there's dirt on our uniforms
from chasing all the ants and worms
we clean up and now its time to learn
we clean up and now its time to learn
Numbers, letters, learn to spell
nouns, and books, and show and tell
at playtime we will throw the ball
back to class, through the hall
teacher marks our height against the wall
teacher marks our height against the wall
We don't notice any time pass
we don't notice anything
we sit side by side in every class
teacher thinks that I sound funny
but she likes the way you sing
Tonight I'll dream while in my bed
when silly thoughts go through my head
about the bugs and alphabet
and when I wake tommorow I'll bet
that you and I will walk together again
I can tell that we're going to be friends

"I made a new friend..."
"Real or Imaginary?"

Thank God for the White Stripes and Donnie Darko to define my newest friendship with a certain Mr.Bunny... Well not classically, but he's a new version. Mr.Bunny Nuveux....

Hello you. It's me again. I don't know what you think you're doing here- why you think you're welcome- but nonetheless you're here again. Right on time, early even.

Oh, I'm sorry, who is that? That is a little friend i like to call Birthday Blues-a.

Why I would ever expect ol' blue to miss our annual date, I couldn't say, I suppose I was figuring on being stronger than I really am. I suppose i thought I could just ignore it, just wish it away. But no, I have been beaten. As always I'm down for the count, this time in the 18th round.

What are birthday blues you ask? Truly lost and lonely souls might understand, but I will try to convey the purpose and painfulness of the birthday blues to you regular folk as well.

Birthday blues are a perfect blend of "poor me" and "when will this life be over?" The blues over-shadow every fear you may have had through the long and arduous past 365 days. All the doubt, sadness, disillutionment, pain, strife, and general ickiness you have ever felt in your life tags along with the blues, and let me tell you those are the most unwelcome guests ever.

Why oh why would someone ever have these dreaded blues you ask? When you come to the realization that you should have never been born, that everyone around you dispises your very creatioin and blames the whole natural fiasco of your birth on you, when the man who is resposible for half of your genetic make-up won't acknowledge your existence, even for a brief moment of his immature, self absorbed time, when you have no one with which to share all of your fears, doubts and qualms with life in general because you're too busy worrying about being acceptable and pleasing to them and making sure that they don't leave you alone and a-lonely like everyone else has mannaged to do, then, and only then you can know that you have met the Abominable Blues head on.

I am not trying to be melo-dramatic with this whole thing. I'm just trying to be real. I am trying to save the one shread of humanity I feel I possess from slipping away. I am trying to preserve my life; not my existence, but the very reason I breath at all from disapearing from the record books altogether.

I have a great joy in knowing that God is my Father, my Creator, and the Lover of My Soul.
But the Devil always gets me with these damned Birthday Blues.