I don't wanna run away but I can't take it I don't understand... If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head? I don't know why you're so far away... Cause I miss you body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away... Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right...

Poor Helena...

I forgot to write about my saving grace at work the other night. I got stuck working a thusday and for anyone who knows anything, thursdays at Famous Footwear are DEF NOT THE HOTNESS. But luckily Joe SAVED MY LIFE by whisking me away to the mall so we could share in the delight of Bourbon Chicken at the low low price of--- well I don't know the price, because I am the luckiest little girl in the whole of the Bourbon Chicken loving world.

ANYWAYS...

IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!...

Well almost, it's the last day of school before winter break and THAT is DEF the hotness.

I went and sat on Santas lap yesterday with Kellie Hale. That was good times.

Other than that I got nothin'.

Guess I'll talk at you later.

Wow it's almost the end of the year and I think it's time for a recap:
-Mr.Mr (now Mr.Geri AGAIN cause he's not hot any more) is a poo face. An absolutely ridiculous one. No real explanation, only a simply idea to leave you with on this subject: Guys, Don't treat girls that like you like three year olds after having said several times that you "value their opinion and respect who they are because they are mature young adults, no matter what their actually numerical age is." AND scene...

-Mr. Hampster is ... the best guy in the world. As always.

-Christmas seems actually magical this year. Not because of the gifts or the people or the snow or anything like that. Just because. I think it's because it's my first Chirstmas as a christian and because it's my last Christmas (stuck) at home. Everything just seems more important.

-This year is a lot better than last year. Again, because I'm Christian. Things have been hardand have kind of sucked, but the little things don't matter. I'm happier this Christmas in my own skin and alone than I ever have been before, alone or not. I just feel good. I can't explain it. Like I look back on all thats happened in high school before now and all that seems so far away from me know. I mean I know I'm still immature and stupid and I know I still get upset over trivial things and I don't have it all together yet, but I feel more mature, more compitent. I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazier and I feel more normal now that I can embrace my insanity... ha... That cactually might be it...


- I love working, but working and school is so much harder than I thought. I never gave who do work and school enough credit. I am literally in every sense of the word exhausted. But I feel good. So thats a plus.

- I think that's it, amazingly.

Wow, that was a great catharsis.

That's it.
She's crossed a line.
THAT IS MY F*&^ING TREE, MOTHA F*&^ER!!

I'm sorry, but I hate when people other than me and my mommy decorate MY F*&^ING TREE...

GRRR... PEOPLE ARE CRAZY.

People are crazy. thats my new motto for life, that people are crazy. It's generalized i know but everyone really is. The more i work and the more I have to deal with people the more i feel like a sane person trapped in a crazy house. It bothers me. I can't wait until I get married and have a family and a home I can go home to and hide from the crazies. Then again, that scenario only works if i can find a sane guy to marry... Then again any guy who would marry me would have to be a little off kilter...

The end of the world is coming soon. Therefore, be earnest and disciplined in your prayers. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4: 7+8

I feel like poo.

I think my best (and only) friend in the whole world and I are going to have a buddy-break-up, and I'm going to be the one broken (as always). I hate feeling this way. The way where you know someone did something wrong and you're just waiting for one of you to crack and do the breaking. God, I hope that doesn't happen. I need all the friends I can get and I thought for once I might have one friend I could keep.

I worst thing is ia that our friendship is (was supposed to be) based completely in Christ. I felt like I could tell them anything and that spending time with them would always be the ultimate fellowship time for me. Two buddies going through life, arm in arm walking the narrow path, showing others it's worth it... But something happened. One or both of us fell and one or both of us aren't getting up, or are having a heck of a time. This is definatly the hardest thing in the world to go through. I don't want to be the fallen one, but I don't want them to be either, and I know it has to be one of us, because it's more than if we had just fallen out of eachother; it goes deeper than that... The book says to confront them. If they listen they are your true friend, if not, confront them with a mediator and then with the church, and if they still won't listen, treat them as an unbeliever...

I'm going to lose my best friend ever and it says to just let them go.

I can't do it.
I can't be alone.
Is this a test to see if I can stand alone?
Or is this a test to see if I can let Jesus mend this friendship?

Any ideas, I'm open to comments, Thebadgummybear = AIM

I wish I could write about why my family is insane, but if I do they might see it and get mad. All I have to ask is are adults supposed to be more mature?

I love snow

I mean it sucks... It's cold and wet and you can't go anywhere or do anything and I always getstuck going into work with my mom and I always forget about my school work, but I still love it.

Who knows why. I could get all mushyand explain why, but honestly I don't have the energy and you don't care anyways.

Well I have to go and see if SATs are cancelled for tomorrow. Pray for me, cause I'm gonna die if they're not.

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load i bear
in a world as cold as stone
must i walk this path alone?
Help me be strong
Be with me now

Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven
Breath of heaven
lighten my darkness
Pour over me your holiness
for you are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder, when you watch my face
If a wiser one, should have had my place?
But i offer all i am
for the mercy of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me

"Mr. Hampster can drop you off... and give you a good luck kiss when you get there..."

WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME?

He's just my christian brother, he's just my christian borther, he's just my christian brother...