Something waiting

i sit here iwth so much to do and sleep in my eyes. waiting. I sit here driving, thinking, crying, laughing, working, waiting. I walk, I talk I sing, I skip, I wait.

I wait for deliverance. I wait for paitence, I wait for understanding.

I wait to the line to move, I wait for the right time, I wait for a drink at the bar.

I wait for the most important things and the most simple things and the mind boggling things and the crazy things.

I wait for the mail, I wait for the water to boil I wait for the music to start.

But I don't wait for you. You ran past me in a blur and you were so indistinguished and unkempt and loud and sad and unneccessary.

And I don't wait for you.

One more thing...

My simple pleasure for today?

Hanson.

This is all just a bad dream... This is all just a bad dream... This is all just a bad dream...

I had a thought that ran through my brain and exhausted me last night.

I realized that i have been waiting to wake up.

"The last three years were just pretend."

I go to bed every night, praying that I can find so relief in the reality of dreams and i wake up every morning to the same ol' same ol'. I wake up thinking "today is a new day. Everything is behind me. All the really horrible things never really happened" I wander around all day in a haze, trully believe the crap I sold myself upon waking. And then it hits me. All at once, like a ton of bricks. Nothing is over. Nothing is resolved. Nothing makes any sense yet.

Screw Reality.