My Rockin' college essay (even though I'm not going to college and miss.Iwearsmocksallyearround is making us do this pointless assignment)

I once heard someone comment that when teenagers try to act like adults, they often act more immature than they would if they would just act like teenagers. I know enough about acting like an adult to know that that statement may very well be truer and more thought-provoking than anything else I’ve ever learned in life before and I would venture to guess the same for anything I might learn. Then again, I do have a long way to go.
At any rate, this reliable source, whom I believe was Jenny Jones or maybe even Sally Jesse, made my little fourteen year old head spin. How peculiar. Children behaving like adults behaving like children. The balance of the world as I knew it teetering on the edge of oblivion, I decided that before I freaked and ran into a cave until my 21 birthday (by which time of course I would be an adult and therefore never have to worry about being mistaken for a teenager trying to be an adult trying to be a teenager… yeah…) that I would investigate this “fact”.
If it were true, if teenagers who were trying to be adults were even more immature than just plain teenagers, I was up the river Styx without a paddle, bound for Greenland. Unlike my plain teenager contemporaries, I was one of those “I’m too cool to be a teenager” teenagers. I am not at fault for that though, you see I had no choice; all the adults I know took a rain check when it came to teaching me proper adult mannerisms… or proper teenage ones at that…
Sure, I can excuse myself from a table, and I know which fork to use when, but that’s where my maturity ends. When it comes to having adult relations with someone, forget it. Honestly ask any one of my ex-boyfriend and they’ll agree to the fact that I’m not as mature as my table manners, general etiquette and eloquence suggest.
At that point in my life I thought maturity was all about appearances, because that’s all I had been taught. If it looked like I had a daddy, no one would ask questions. If my mom seemed to be a good single mom because I got good grades in school and could balance a ball on my nose like a seal at sea world, then we had a slightly dented but functional family.
And that’s where people get caught in the trap. That’s where maturity becomes like the illusive panda, bumbling about in the bamboo. It’s something so easy, so obvious, and yet so scarce. Because they think it’s about the look. It’s not the color of the panda it’s the bamboo in it’s tummy. People are immature because they're focusing on how mature they can make themselves appear, instead of just growing. Yeah, that's it. You are mature because you are mature not because you tried to stop being immature, and not because you try to look more mature. I think I get it, but I'm going to stop thinking about it because if I don't, I'll never be able to just grow.
Wow, that took a long time to understand. I hope that’s it though because I don’t think I can rethink that whole thought. Then again “to learn to think is to learn to question…” and I’m just now learning to think, so maybe I’ll re-question that which I thought since that is what started this mess in the first place.