Benny, The truth about her demise

"So this is it then? You're just going to walk away from everything we have and forget about me? Forget about everything you said you wanted, every dream we built, ever kiss I ever gave you?" DR was an emotional man, set on a hair trigger for disaster. She backed away from him slowly, refusing to look him in the eyes as she had for months now.

If she did, what would she have seen? Would he have appeared less mad than he sounded? Would he have broken down, asked for forgiveness, and held her like she needed? Would she have believed it if he had?

"I just-" She rallied her senses and took a deep breath while he filled up the silence-

"You just what? You just don't love me, You just want your own way? You are just everything I ever thought you would be? You just want out?" He fired so quickly, she could barely see straight let alone think straight.

"I just want you to give me a moment." Another tear, then another, then she felt that feeling once again. That feeling that starts at the base of everything you are and comes out of your ears. That pressure. That moment when you are so emotionally distraught that you can feel your physical systems shutting down. All the blood races to you heart and mind and you are incapacitated from the inside out. That moment when you can feel your intestines kneading themselves and your stomach falling.

That same feeling she felt every time he hit her, every time he left her, every time he told her what she was worth and what she owed him and what he knew of her and what he wanted from her and what he knew she would never be.

That same feeling crept up from the pit of her stomach every time she looked in his eyes and saw a half crazed demon. Every time she realized that she had made a mistake. Every time she thought about all she had seen and heard from him that had made her realize he was the devil or at least possessed by one.

It didn't matter. Breathing didn't matter. Loving didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Like so many times before, her sobs overtook her and all she wanted was to lay down and to die. To lay down and to compost into the ground and never live again. To stop hurting and stop living and stop loving him.

But DR relented and left her to cry alone. Which hurt most of all.