She wakes and takes her place in line

13.
13..
13...

Hmm... 13 Insights into My Soul.

1. If given the chance, I would eat a key lime in some form every day of my life.

2. I hate socks, but I hate the lining of my shoes worse.

3. Pantyhose and I are on a strictly one-night-stand basis. (My mother, for the first time in recorded history, read over my shoulder and did nothing but giggle for a minute straight about how true this really is)

4. I consider my political views to be conservative, even though I am biased to the gays and the immigrants.

1. The former will help control our population boom.
2. The latter will do the job I'm not particularly fond of for
little money and even less job security and no health care.
3. God told me to love everyone and let Him do the busy work.
4. We all were immigrants once.
5. Don't hate because their shoes are better.

5. I am not in the least worried that the above text may cause someone discomfort. In fact I hope it does. Because discomfort causes change.

6. I am secretly anal about that stupidest things: All of my pillow covers have to be facing the same way before Ican successfully call it a night, things that fit in the dooro f the refrigerator must be kept there, everything I possibly can I alphabetize... There are so many more. But I think it is just in an attempt to control SOMETHING in my life.

7. I have strange anxieties that I don't think anyone else deals with. For instance I can't eat a hot dog in public (don't ask), I hate food prep workers that wear plastic gloves improperly, I don't like to be even slightly chilly in public because my hands turn an unsightly purple, I hate forgetting peoples names... Another long list. By anxiety I don't mean that these things slightly annoy me, I mean that on occasion I have had to control a panic attack when moving through these simple life experiences.

8. I wish that I could beathe like a dolphin and stay in the water for 30 or more minutes at a time.

9. I think one day human evolution will truly actualize the whole marine mammal obsession I have.

10. I have never talked to anyone the way I speak to myself.

11. I spy on people using myspace... I guess thats not really an insight though seeing as I know you ALL do it so:

11a. I hate sci fi now as most of you know. But very few of you know that, when I was a child I had the same negativity towards The Smurfs, The Chipmunks, The Muppets (shudder), Scooby-doo, Fraggle Rock, Arthur, The skits in Mr.Rogers that included the puppets, Alf, Charlie Brown and anything Snoopy related, and Care Bears. The majority of these things I disliked on one principle: Animals whether stuffed or real didn't, and shouldn't, talk.

I did, however, approve of Babar the french royal elephant, Thundercats, the Berenstein Bears, the Dot collection (i.e. Dot and the Whale and Dot and Keto), and David the Gnome.

I like Thundercats because they were not animals, they were mythological hybrids. And I agree with mythological hybrids with historic faith.

As for Babar, A. He was French, and B. The books were narrated by third person omniscense which means that literarally speaking, the elephants themselves didn't speak. Not to mention, Babar was freakin royalty.

In the Dot series, the only human that could understand the whales, dolphins, penguins, Moby Dick, the Crab, Keto, the seahorses, the sharks,etc. was Dot. Which means they were communicating, not speaking clear english. And an intuitive connection with certain aspects of nature is a God given talent. The same is applied to David, not to mention he himself is a mythological creature.

I was young and I don't know what I was thinking about the Berenstein Bears. I think intitially I was drawn to the very pun that was their last name, and I stuck around for the innocent fun. But I swear, I never inhailed.

12. I do not, under any circumstances give creedance to this preposterous idea many of you have about Dinosaurs. They didn't exist. Get over it.

13. And finally, everyone, in my opinion, should be required to be able to read, write, utilize arithmatic, speak 3 languages fluently, ballroom dance properly, curtsy and bow, and play some sort of instrument well by the time they graduate High school. If Jane Eyre could do all of that while fighting off tuberculosis and living on gruel and fetid water, we should atleast attempt in the day and age of motorcars, air conditioning, anti bacterial soap, and Lean Cuisine.

I think I have acheived what I set out to do, and that, my friends was share.

Now run along:


I don't feel myself today
Just a figure in a big monopoly game
Struggle is the price you pay
You get just enough just to give it away
I'm sinking but I'm floating away
Throw me a line so I can anchor my pain
The fabric is about to fray