Sleep Dreams, Sweet Well.

After a series of terribly fitfully nights of sleep, I have come to a few conclusions:
I am too much in love.
I want things from you that scare, worry, and even embarrass me.
I need to go to bed earlier.

How can you be too much in love? Being too much in love is when your heart is ahead of you. Being too much in love is needing something from another person that you can't put into words. Being too much in love is representative of every challenge in my life.

I spend most of my day in a sort of half-reality, daydreaming about you. Which is useless, in my opinion. Daydreams serve no purpose other than distraction.They can't bring into being all the things I wish of you. They can't be representations of real truth in any way.

They are just the idle wishes of a girl very much in love who sees a great many things on the imaginary silver screen of her life with you.

Idle wishes and thoughts that take me more than a few miles ahead of you ad your patient heart that I love so much. Lofty ideas of grandeur.

My daydreams don't help you.
Or me.
Nor do they make you're life any better.
And is that not what this love is about?
Loving you positively, putting you first in all things, effecting you for successful change.
Is love only useful when is produces a positive change?

And what do I want from you, Boy? Everything. I even intimidate myself with that admission of need.

I don't think I can do this. I just don't think I have it in me to love you- well anyone- this much. I don't have the capacity to give you everything. I already tried this and he just ran with my everything. My dreams, my realities, my love, my heart, my future were wrapped up in him. What if you run too? What if you take this little bit I offer with you? My simple, sweet trusting soul? My time, my energy, my patience.

They always do go, you know, Boy. They never want me for a family. They never want to commit. They never can bear it for long.

But if you want it-
If you will truly take everything I have and stay right here with me-
I will flourish.

I will find more and more everyday to give you. I will shower you with gifts from my heart until you have no where else to hold them. I won't even beg much of you. Just be here. Just take what I give you with the understanding that ever breath I breathe on your neck, every kiss I bestow on your lips, every dream a whisper to you on a Sunday morning when getting out of bed is just a fruitless effort because we two are much happier there where we can hold eachother and hear every smile and sigh every sigh together, is precious.

I just want you.
And that is why I am too much in love with you. I want things from you that I can only assume are impossible because no one has ever attempted them before.