...about the way I want to live my life.

I was talking with my mom the other night about Mr.L and why we had to break up and the conversation went something like this:

Super Footwear Girl: Mom I had to break up with Mr.L

Mom: Why, what did you do?

SFG: Nohting mom, we just had a dissagreement and it's just not working

Mom: But why can't you work it out? He's so cute and he seems like a grat guy...

SFG: He is gorgeous and he is a great guy... He's just not for me...

(slight pause, an incredulous look from my mom)

Mom: What do you mean?

SFG: Haven't you ever been with someone you like but you know isn't 'The One?'

(another pause and a truly new expression comes across her face)

Mom: No, I never thought about it like that...


I don't want to waste my time anymore. I don't want to get stuck with someone I feel lukewarm about. I am worth more than that. I am worth the adoration I give to the men that I love. I am worth more than a faint caring. A pssive "go if you want, stay if you must" attitude. I am worth deep, committed, lasting, serious, everything at once love. I am worthy of an attentive and interested friend, lover, mate and partner. Who wants to be "tollerated" in a relationship?

Not this Superhero.

Now that the rant is over, I might actually indeavor to provide my patient readers with a good story. A story about a boy whom I might love.

The Eldest, who needs a name before I start, has racked up more phone time with me than any man alive and, to my complete surprise, he seems to enjoy every minute of it. Mr...Awesomeness is, as we speek, attempting to find ways to earn money with which to visit me. He wants to come visit me. He wants to call me up to talk about nothing and end up on the phone for 5 hours. He wants to play open ended games of 20 questions just to get to know me and he wants to cuddle and he wants to be near me. He wants to make a good impression on my mom and he wants to be my friend.

Then again, don't they all for the first week.

But I think this one really might work. He's smart and strong and capable and he sees right through me and he hears every silent sigh and catches every smile and keeps them for himself. Where he keeps them or if I'll ever get them back, I don't know.

I do know that I have found a new respect for Shakira..."Lucky you were born that far away so We could both make fun of distance Lucky that I love a foreign land for The lucky fact of your existence." While he doesn't live in Behruit, he's certainly not the boy-next-door.

Well... I have to get some sleep tonght... as if it's possible with him running around my brain all night