So tonight I shall commit to posting two blog entries, much to the dismay and/or delight of my 3 readers. One blog entry (this one) shall be a rant and one (the next one) shall be a rave. You choose which Louise you like best...

THE RANT:

I am tired of being made to feel small. I'm tired of being labeled "immature" "naive" or "stupid". It might be true that i am all of those things but good god people, don't you think I get that by now? My parents, my siblings and my aquaintences take time out of their precious life nearly every day to inform me of my inequities, and now my friends lodge an attack? Can't a girl catch a break?


Seriously, what do i have to do to prove myself to you people? (especially you "friend" types?) I have made every academic goal set before me, yet I'm still "stupid". I have gotten acollades in every business venture I have ever tried and yet I am still "incapable". I have lived my life with practically no help in rasing myself yet I can't shake the title of "immature". I smile and talk sweetly and work dilegently, yet I am a snob by many accounts.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here. i can't try any harder. I don't know what else to do. What do you want from me? No one is the perfect daughter/friend/co-workers/person, so why would any one expect that of me? I try so hard to each the expectations of everyone around me and yet I am still called lazy and selfish and-- oh the list goes on, but if I continue I will also be able to count "whiny" among my many faults.

Could someone please just like me the way I am? Could someone lower the bar so that i could squeeze by? Just this once let me in. Let me be good enough. Just for a day can we pretend that I meet you expectations and that I am, at the very least, acceptable to you? I try so hard.. All I want is a nod. A simple recognition as a fellow and equal human being. You'll have to just compromise tonight and give it to me because honestly I have no idea how to earn it.

So I think that'll do...

Now for

THE RAVE:

I have a date. For the first time in a long while I have a real, legit, bone fide date with a man. This, for me, is very exciting. I am being taken out like a lady to a very nice restaraunt buy and very nice gentleman friend.... who will be henceforth referenced as Dave. ( I know, I know, but I'm running out of clever quips)

So yeah, that's all folks...