Minding my own business, of which there is not much to mind

I had a strange moment full of eerie feelings this weekend.

On a delightful trip to Nowhere Virginia with the Boy who is slowly becoming someone, I got a simple text meesage that both hurt, shocked, offended and made me think.

It truly wasn't anything important or meaningful or surprising. It had nothing to do with gas prices or natural disasters or politics.

It was a hurtful thing said by an artful person with malice in their hearts who never says anything without a smile on their face or without following their insults with a giggle.

I won't tell you what they said because it should have never been said. It was an insult to my new found hapiness and an attempt to shame and mock me.

I am so sensitive to this that I cried. I bawled my little eyes out while the helpless Boy just shrugged and pet my arm and looked at me with big brown eyes telling me it wasn't that serious. Which maybe it wasn't. Maybe to you. Or her. Or him.

But to me, this person might as well have said,

"You are a sham. Everything you do is obnoxious and over the top. You do not deserve even a shred of peace. I hope that by saying this, I rob you of not only that which makes you smile, but your pride in yourself as well... I'm just kidding, of course, you should lighten up and learn how to take a joke."

The really horrible thing is that they didn't even say it to me. They said it to a friend. Who was visiting with someone I hardly know. Who knows nothing about me. This friend barely knows my situation.

The worst part? I wasn't there to defend myself. I wasn't there to refute the rumor. Or to support it. Or to cry and ask this person why would you embarass me in front of people I barely know, people you surely have nothing to do with?

Now I am just hurt. With no recourse. No avenue to say "Hey please don't treate me like this. It is unnacceptable and if you choose to do this, I will have nothing to do with you."

No way to let them know that their actions and words are often just plain hurtful, malicious, mean spirited and unnesessary.

And now maybe The Boy who is nothing if not tolerant and quiet and sweet and calming very well might think I am a little on the looney side. Maybe a little jilted. And I am. I am a little hurt. And slow to mend. And still picking myself up from the past few years.

So maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe him seeing me breakdown will show him that I am not impenetrable. That I am a real live girl full of songs and sweets and sentimentality.

Or maybe he'll just run the other way.

And maybe that's all I get.