And I am just sad. Before I wanted him to change. I still do, just not for me or with me or near me. For himself, by himself, without me. If he would have been what he said he were, would he have ever tricked me into all this?
Here is what I said, but read after for a thought I can't stop my brain from thinking:
"I think it's, I don't know, ironic, that you would choose to criticize my priorities right now. Yes, school means more to me than you. Boo- hoo, cry me a river. Seeing as you were obviously not "working" when you left those messages, I will take you critiques with more than a grain of salt.
Please don't call me while intoxicated.
And please, don't trouble yourself to show up here with divorce papers, because I won't see you any how. Just have your lawyer mail them.
Please advise about the apartment. You owe just as much debt as I do and as far as I know you are not making any payments towards it. It will ruin both of our credit and renter's history if I refuse to pay.
The time for ignorance and indignance is over. Chill out and deal with this like an adult. Stop insulting me and everyone in my camp. Stop with the nonsense, please.
The man I thought I married wouldn't belittle me or my mother, leave nasty messages while intoxicated, critisize me for what I think is most important, or treat me as though I owe him more than he owes me.
Just think about it."
THOUGHT:
Your Parental figure: "
The truth?
You said you would stop smoking the day we were married.
Not for me but for you.
Not only did you lie to me, but you lied to yourself.
And you couldn't get out of the church fast enough to go smoke in the shed.
PRAYER:
That you atleast stop lying, if not truly change.
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