I very much like you...

Who Indeed

Went to DC.
For Eddie Izzard to see.
Enjoyed my time.
A feast for the mind.

I have been pretty down in the pots for a few days for a number of reasons. Would you care to shar with me some sad thoughts?

1. May 13th will be my two year anniversary. This is sad for two reasons.
A. I don't want to be married anymore
B. I haven't been happily married since... well, I never really was I suppose, but what I would call domestic peace ended in June ish of last year.

2. Liking boys sometimes gets me down. I don't know if it because I am still married, but I have all these strange feelings in relation to hapiness and love. I am happy. The Boy and I get along tolerable well. But there is just those lurking feelings that
A. He too will turn out to ba a psychopath
B. He will realize that I am a psychopath
C. It just won't work and I will just add it to the list of things I can't do properly.

3. I just. Don't. Know. There is a seed of doubt and frustration and anticipation and anxiety growing right here in my mid section and i can't get rid of it. Something might be/ could be/ is/ will be coming and I feel it and I don't know how to stop it or change it or accept it. Help...

4. Money... That's what I want.

It's all there. All this strange pseudo-negativity floating around in my brain and making my head spin. I just don't understand it. I don't know if I mind feeling a bit down either.

Or if it just adds to my poetic credibility.