Some people think i can't leave well enough alone. They think that I can't take a hint. They might even think I am crazy.

But on the quest to prove my sanity, I think that I might have made myself out to be padded room, drooling mouth, in need of sedation, certifiable insane.

I just wanted him to tell me he lied to me. i just wanted him to say that he never loved me and that, even though he said it, he never wanted to be with me. I just want.... the truth... just this once.

But he denied it, he said basically that I heard what I wanted to hear and that he never was really in love with me he just said what he felt in that moment and that I can do whatever I want in regards to keeping in touch with him. He apologized 2when he was forced to, but included the comment, "What, are you traumitized by this?"

Yes.

"what do you want me to say?"

You're sorry. And that you suck.

"I'm sorry, I lied to you. I am a liar and a cheat. You never deserved to be treated like that and I recognize that I hurt you. I never meant to do that. Never. I just wasn't true enough with my emotions and I was too naive to realize that what i said and did had such an impact on you. I wish I could take it back but I all I can do now is apologize and let you live your life without me. Please forgive me, but if you don't I'll understand..."

That's all I want... I guess that's asking too much of the man with the whiskers...

So long Mr. Hamster, Hello Mr. Heartache.