I cried a little today. just a little. A half of a tear.

Maybe it doesn't mean much to the untrained ear, but me crying a little is a sign of quick comfort and reassurance. A little cry means that I am not happy, but ok with that. or a little cry means that I am talking or goign through something difficult but I find comfort in whatever is at hand. My little cry today was all Mr.Millionaires fault and his blessing.

We got to talking (actually he got to asking... Sometimes he leads me into conversations that are seemingly unpointed and harmless, then when you're stuck in the middle of them you realier you have to admit your whole lifes sins and trangressions or hang up the phone and change your name)and he asked me if I was mad at him last year. Last year when his Miss.Bunny said "that's Mr.Millionaire, the kid that's in love with me" (in her usual snotty and underhanded manner, dripping with unnecessary detatchment and dismissal, as if he weren't a real person and my dearest friend) little did I know he really did like her, but I, in all of my infinite wisdom, retorted with "no, that's Mr. MIllionaire, the kid that's always been in love with ME..." (insert hair toss and smile here) He didn't talk to me the rest of the summer (when i thought we were on the track for a nice long hit) And his reason for ignoring me was that I got in a "fight" with her and I "started stuff." Neither of which were ever true. How was I to know he really was smitten with her? And how was I to know that she wasn't really a snob with no more interest in him than he has in chocolate (he's mostly allergic...)

We talked more and I explained that I could have never been mad at him because if I hadn't let Mr.Hamster talk me out of what i knew was right and seduce me for the sole purpose of having a date for prom, none of this would have ever happened. Then we talked about my prom and how much fun he had and about how I'm still all about a bonfire for the SOLE PURPOSE of burning my dress and all evidence of my going to prom.

I'm really glad that he and I had that conversation though. the little tear came somewhere in between the "I was never mad at you" and the "It was all my fault." I wish there had been a "I love you" and a "I wish you could know that I mean that with all my heart" in there. But he stopped me at my one little tear and said "You know I'm not good with words... it's said that men use 500 words a day while women use upwards of 2500 and I still have a little bit of day left so I have to stop hear before i use them up..."

I think I met my quota here and now, so I will leave you with a half of a tear...