Ok I get it. I just don't belong.
I'm like a round peg in a square hole, it may fit, but it doesn't really go there. Everywhere I turn, people welcome me with open arms, but then, it seems, they remember who I am or figure me out and they send me away. Because I'm not good enough. Because they don't need me. Because I JUST DON'T BELONG.
I read you loud and clear. I'm the only foster child with two living parents and who really wants the responsibility of raising an 18 year-old child who still needs a functional mother and father and a safe home and a warm bed and her freedom because she's grown all at once?
I've said it a million time, but I'll say it again fo those of you who missed it: I'm sorry I was born I can't fix it. I'm sorry I'm in your way, just say the word and I'll move. I'm sorry I love you and I'm not perfect, I'll try harder. I'm sorry for taking the air you wanted to breath and living the life you wanted to lead, but I promise soon I'll leave. As soon as I find another place where I can sort of belong until I ruin their lives.
Just wait a little while and I'll be dead, gone, or perfect, I promise...
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Welcome. If you want truth, you just passed it. This is Idealism.
Whispers of Temptation
I, much concerned with life
Saw the skull beneath the skin
And lustful creatures all around
Lean forward with lips full and grin.
Dead brown roots instead of balls
Drain the attention of wandering eyes
He knew my rambuncitious thoughts
Called in by lusts and luxeries.
He, I guessed, was a hands-on learner
Who could control not his fervor
To seize.
And force.
And dictate.
Calmed by nothing but that which penetrates
His flesh knew not patience,
His hand an expert beyond experience,
My body not yet a temple,
And I, quickly lead by harsh desires.
* * *
Summer was nice : The extreme heat
Gave way to naked skin
For short, but sweet unknown release
Giving fruitless promises of bliss.
From a chaise lounge, One can see a world.
Observing, planning, asserting.
Scheming.
Mouth-watering.
From which he pounced; and with quick declaration.
"I lust for you"
A force on my subtlty.
Even the slightest hint
Aroused a deeper cry
For flames that danced between
To keep the empty warm.
On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Le Petit Prince
Writing Baltimore.
Welcome. If you want truth, you just passed it. This is Idealism.
Me, Playing Poet.
Whispers of Temptation
I, much concerned with life
Saw the skull beneath the skin
And lustful creatures all around
Lean forward with lips full and grin.
Dead brown roots instead of balls
Drain the attention of wandering eyes
He knew my rambuncitious thoughts
Called in by lusts and luxeries.
He, I guessed, was a hands-on learner
Who could control not his fervor
To seize.
And force.
And dictate.
Calmed by nothing but that which penetrates
His flesh knew not patience,
His hand an expert beyond experience,
My body not yet a temple,
And I, quickly lead by harsh desires.
* * *
Summer was nice : The extreme heat
Gave way to naked skin
For short, but sweet unknown release
Giving fruitless promises of bliss.
From a chaise lounge, One can see a world.
Observing, planning, asserting.
Scheming.
Mouth-watering.
From which he pounced; and with quick declaration.
"I lust for you"
A force on my subtlty.
Even the slightest hint
Aroused a deeper cry
For flames that danced between
To keep the empty warm.
Labels
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- Simple Pleasures and Delicate things (46)
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Appearance should not be mistaken for Truth...
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Quelque chose que j'épargne juste pour vous.
- Louise
- Something more, a little less, and just all around satisfying. A small lyrical, satirical, heart felt, heart melt with a cherry on top for you and your mom.
4 comments:
Smile... Jesus loves you and there are no bad moods on days when it's sunny and 70.
Cheer up, no one really fits in anywhere perfectly.
Unfortunately you are learing, the hard way, what we've all known for years. I'm sorry that you are hurting and that they are hurting you... finding out this way always sucks... hope it gets better.
"Life is still worth living it's just simply complicated"
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