I hate having bad days. But what I love after having an awful day is coming home and seeing a random comment on my blog from someone I don't know. It makes a girl feel that much more heard, even if it's only about the activities of one's nostrils.
I also love steak. Flank steak, ribeye, skillet, skirt, cube... I just have a general affinity for beef. J'aime bien le biftec... biftec biftec...
So this entry is dangerously teetering on becoming another list of random thoughts only because today has been so awful, so horrid, so.. so forgettably bad that Imy mind is drawing a blank on how to communicate properly.
I have to share something on blogger that I have not yet. My aunt has cancer. My perfect, lovely, funny, sweet, awesome aunt who loves me more than life and loves life more than herself and loves Christ above all else has breast cancer. And I haven't called her. I haven't written her. I haven't made her dress (long story.) I haven't heard her tell me a joke since I found out because I'm afraid to call her and hear her be afraid. And I'm scared to tell her everything is going to be okay if in fact it turns out that even saints on earth have to die. I'm just plain selfish and stupid and young and scared that... that she might die. That the best christian woman I have to follow after and possibly the best I have ever known might be taken from me. forever. FOREVER. Well, okay not forever like eternity... but until I die and i see her in heaven... if she's even my aunt in heaven... if it even matters by then... FOREVER. FOREVER...
That's a long time...
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Welcome. If you want truth, you just passed it. This is Idealism.
Whispers of Temptation
I, much concerned with life
Saw the skull beneath the skin
And lustful creatures all around
Lean forward with lips full and grin.
Dead brown roots instead of balls
Drain the attention of wandering eyes
He knew my rambuncitious thoughts
Called in by lusts and luxeries.
He, I guessed, was a hands-on learner
Who could control not his fervor
To seize.
And force.
And dictate.
Calmed by nothing but that which penetrates
His flesh knew not patience,
His hand an expert beyond experience,
My body not yet a temple,
And I, quickly lead by harsh desires.
* * *
Summer was nice : The extreme heat
Gave way to naked skin
For short, but sweet unknown release
Giving fruitless promises of bliss.
From a chaise lounge, One can see a world.
Observing, planning, asserting.
Scheming.
Mouth-watering.
From which he pounced; and with quick declaration.
"I lust for you"
A force on my subtlty.
Even the slightest hint
Aroused a deeper cry
For flames that danced between
To keep the empty warm.
On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur, l'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Le Petit Prince
Writing Baltimore.
Welcome. If you want truth, you just passed it. This is Idealism.
Me, Playing Poet.
Whispers of Temptation
I, much concerned with life
Saw the skull beneath the skin
And lustful creatures all around
Lean forward with lips full and grin.
Dead brown roots instead of balls
Drain the attention of wandering eyes
He knew my rambuncitious thoughts
Called in by lusts and luxeries.
He, I guessed, was a hands-on learner
Who could control not his fervor
To seize.
And force.
And dictate.
Calmed by nothing but that which penetrates
His flesh knew not patience,
His hand an expert beyond experience,
My body not yet a temple,
And I, quickly lead by harsh desires.
* * *
Summer was nice : The extreme heat
Gave way to naked skin
For short, but sweet unknown release
Giving fruitless promises of bliss.
From a chaise lounge, One can see a world.
Observing, planning, asserting.
Scheming.
Mouth-watering.
From which he pounced; and with quick declaration.
"I lust for you"
A force on my subtlty.
Even the slightest hint
Aroused a deeper cry
For flames that danced between
To keep the empty warm.
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Quelque chose que j'épargne juste pour vous.
- Louise
- Something more, a little less, and just all around satisfying. A small lyrical, satirical, heart felt, heart melt with a cherry on top for you and your mom.
3 comments:
Pick up the phone and call your aunt or go see her. If the worst should happen and she doesn't make it you'll regret not spending all the time you could have with her. It't tough for you, but even tougher for her.
I have one question and please don't take offense to it, but why do you give up just like that? Just because the "doctors" have said that she has breast cancer and to the world she will die doesn't mean it's the end. If you pray and have faith, she can live. Many people have the misconception that when God has his mind made up that we can't do anything about it. There are many examples in the bible that back up what I've said.(If you need read them, I can post them later). Have faith, erase the doubt that you can't do anything about it. God gave you the power. Show your faith to God.
I have far from given up. God has proven His faithfulness many times by directly answering my prayers. We all hit the bottom of the well sometimes. I am lucky enought to know that my only option at the bottom of the well is to look up.
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