so i hope my readers don't see this as overstepping my bounds as a writer ( and hopefully as your friend?) but i need a favor. this favor may be the most important one of my life, please read closely and respond promptly for I become more and more desperate as the days go by. this is a dilemma of WMD importance, please read cautiously.


Here's the plot and the tragedy:

I have a car (plot, not tragedy.) I have a car and it's my first car and it's a piece (Using "piece" Here, I hope you, the reader surely understand that it is an abbreviation for a phrase {not suitable for the wee readers} that means bad, bolox, not-up-to-par, ect...) Again, pot not tragedy. The tragedy of my newest fortunate situation is that my newly acquired, not newly designed or desired car, is, in fact, nameless. Yes, I have a no-named car. Having adopted this car from it's previously owner who, no doubt treated it well (obvious by it's ripped interior, rust colored 16 year old paint job, neglected golf balls in the trunk and automatic window buttons that you must holw in your hand in order to operate) it has still arrived at my door step without a name. I want this new car to know how much I really love it. It is imperettive that it feels at home and loved.

The best name in the running is "sir lotty of the piece family, upper marlboro." While this name is fitting and certainly acceptable, I would like to run over a few choices with the said "Piece" in order to find the best for him/her.

Please help. I need you...