I recently attempted and pathetically failed a venture to the mall in search of a shirt to complete my Easter dinner outfit. Some of you may wonder, "Why does one need an 'Easter dinner outfit'?" while others (the lesser of the two phyllums, I do pray), will ask,"what is easter?" Well, my friends, I shall tell you a great story...

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, her momma, two old warlocks (who were also her brothers) and the girls father, King Norman the unfased. The little girl was beautiful by all accounts, but there was always something wrong with her. Depending on who you were, this flaw appered differently. Sometimes, she seemed too plump. Other times, her hair was too long. Some even thought she looked simple. So to hide her verious imperfections, everyone tried to dress her just so to hide her faults. The mother dressed her in rags to hide her pride and her curves. The warlocks also prefered rags so that no one would know she was a girl. The father, King Norman the unfased, had no say in this, for to him, the girls imperfections made no difference. (Mostly because, to him, she was invisible.)

One day, the girl was old enough to venture out into the market alone where she was greeted by a perplexing audience. True as it was she was fair, with red red lips and soft brown hair and eyes like doves, but the commoners in the markets too saw her flaws. They saw that she wore rags not befitting a princess and fitted her with the tightest corsets and longest skirts. They saw that she was too modest and they sold her the finest silks, woven fabrics, and lambswool they could muster in all the kingdom. They were displeased with her long, frayed, soft locks and encouraged her to cut her hair and die it the most unnatural colors, red like the robin, black as coal, and yellow like the sun. The very confused princess found her way home, delighted that she had found acceptance with her people, but worried about wqhat her family might do and say to her. She came into the courtyards of the castle, and her mother caught a glimpse of her short hair, colorful plummage and painted face and shrieked in horror "You stupid girl you were to perfect the way I had created you, why would you change?" So her mother forced her to change into her rags, take off the make-up she had been forced to wear, and pull her hair tightly to her head so that no one would see the shame of her short hair.

Everytme the girl went to the city, she felt as though she should dress like the commoners, for she was shouted aty and jeered in the streets "You simple girl, where is your jewlery, you make-up, your fine clothes! One can barly tell you figure under that sack-cloth!" The girl struggled for many years, going back and forth between her identities, beautiful in each place if only she wore what she was told, for her imperfections were too unbearable if handled in her own manner.

And such is my di-llama with easter dinner...
What to wear what to wear what to wear...