GRRR. I think I hate being an ex more than I hate having crushes. "Sure, Mr. Heartbreaker, why don't you come over and see my new guitar, just one more way you get to see me unskilled and vunerable and I'll just act like it doesn't phase me at all to spend time around you, watching you do THE SEXIEST THING IN THE WORLD". (P.S. I love guys with guitars...) (P.S.S. I love guys.) That was dumb of me. Very dumb of me. When he left I felt fine. It was the first time we had every hung out where we were just hanging out. But who am I kidding? I love him, I'll always love him. He's my Mr.bunny (don't ask). The only thing in the world I want so badly to do is to forget him and it sucks knowing that I NEVER WILL. NEVER. Maybe thats why these crushes suck. Because no one will ever be another Mr. Heartbreaker. No matter how perfect someone seems for me or just in general, the love I have for them will never compare to the love I have for Mr. Heartbreaker. Likewise, it's painful to know that the love I have for Mr. Heartbreaker will never be "allowed". That's it. I don't have time for this lovey-dovey crap this year. I have to get ready for boot camp. I give up. For real for real. I'm done with men...