MY LIFE IS A SITCOM
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE

ENTER Mr. Heartbreaker, my gay ex-boyfriend, and myself, Super Footwear Girl.

Mr. Heartbreaker: i started a new blog because myspace is rotting my brain
Super Footwear Girl: HAHAHA
Mr. Heartbreaker: myspacetherapy.blogspot.com
Super Footwear Girl: I would like to say "I could have told you so had you asked"
Super Footwear Girl: Everyone asks "Hey, y r'nt u on myspace?!" and I say "Because you're a moronic loser that abuses punctuation and so is your whole generation"
Mr. Heartbreaker: but yeah. i'm trying to blog because myspace is digital crack
Mr. Heartbreaker: i know you used to read my old one from time to time
Super Footwear Girl: totally I'm a good blog whore, though your blog was often times too much about people
Super Footwear Girl: you are a friggin toolbox
Mr. Heartbreaker: it was, i know
Mr. Heartbreaker:the new one hasn't had much mention of people
Super Footwear Girl: "people" are okay. mindless recording of events for the sole puropose of recording events is shit.
Mr. Heartbreaker: lol.. i haven't yet mindlessly recorded events
Super Footwear Girl: make your reader love the characters, dont' share with them the people
Mr. Heartbreaker: aside from briefly mentioning things

************SEE www.myspacetherapy.blogspot.com To understand****************
Super Footwear Girl: it's because it's cold and everyone smells better.
Mr. Heartbreaker: hahaha
Super Footwear Girl: no seriously, everyone smells good in the fall.... in the winter they don't care, the spring smells are better than any artificial ones, and needless to say, people don't take enough showers in the summer, thinking that pool water serves the same purpose...fall is better because people care about how they smell
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Super Footwear Girl: hey you have a comment
Mr. Heartbreaker: gasp!
Super Footwear Girl: OMG the other day i was going through old old old old old floppys and I found a conversation we had online... like Simba41119 old (4 years, nearly anient in IM years)
Mr. Heartbreaker: you're a whore
Mr. Heartbreaker: btw, LOL
Super Footwear Girl: which comment was for which
Super Footwear Girl: and promise you won't delete that!
Super Footwear Girl: It's your first comment
Mr. Heartbreaker: 1- i won't delete that
Mr. Heartbreaker: the second comment was the Simba41119 reference
Mr. Heartbreaker: do you still have it handy?
Super Footwear Girl: no not handy... I went through all my disks just to see what had what and I'm a complete imbecile because I didn't even label them, I just looked at them and tossed them aside
Mr. Heartbreaker: whore, you know i would've copy-pasted for you
Super Footwear Girl: I'll find it one day and post it on my blog as cyber proof that at one point in time you were in a ridiculously sappy hetersexual relationship
Mr. Heartbreaker: yeah well
Super Footwear Girl: yeah well my arse
Mr. Heartbreaker: i coudl post some of my old songs/poems if i wanted to prove that point
Super Footwear Girl: no don't it's better when it looks like I am "outing" you
Super Footwear Girl:Mr. Heartbreaker was a strait boy! Mr. Heartbreaker was a strait boy!
Mr. Heartbreaker: we should get together and design a "surprise, Mr. Heartbreaker's gay!" web page we'll take pictures of me and i'll pretend to be shocked that you're telling people
Super Footwear Girl: straight
Super Footwear Girl: no no we shouldn't... I've had enough "surprise Mr. Heartbreaker's gay" moments in my life time thank you
Mr. Heartbreaker: so's my mom
Super Footwear Girl: you laugh like i'm f***ing kidding
Super Footwear Girl: you're mom and I are kindred spirits
Super Footwear Girl:other than the fact that I am a whore....
Mr. Heartbreaker: no, i laugh because i know it's true, and i know it's hilarious
Mr. Heartbreaker: i'm asking her right now, and she says she never thought you were a whore
Mr. Heartbreaker: she blamed me for being the whore, really
Super Footwear Girl: good she's a genius, we are kindred
Mr. Heartbreaker: you, and her, and brad could get together and write a book on me
Super Footwear Girl: WE ARE FAMILY!! GAY Mr. Heartbreaker HIS MOM AND ME
Super Footwear Girl: no just me, I think I have sufficient information thank you
Super Footwear Girl: I alone could write a three part series: The Hero, The Heated, The homo: an epic poem in three parts
Mr. Heartbreaker: the hero?
Super Footwear Girl: I did like you at one point you know
Super Footwear Girl: and I couldn't think of anouther good h word
Mr. Heartbreaker: ah
Super Footwear Girl: there is the largest dearth of suitable h-words for everyday conversation in the english language...
Mr. Heartbreaker: isn't there?
Mr. Heartbreaker: the best one starts with a W anyway
Super Footwear Girl: which one?
thebadgummybear: whotus?
Mr. Heartbreaker:lol
Super Footwear Girl: o ic
Super Footwear Girl: gosh if I could learn internet speak I could so avoid carpel tunnel
Super Footwear Girl: fact is i can't remember to think dumb
Super Footwear Girl: dumbly
Mr. Heartbreaker: yeah neither can i
Mr. Heartbreaker: i mean i've generally learned to disregard capitalization
Mr. Heartbreaker: but then again, who cares about it
Super Footwear Girl: I haven't, I like to try but sometimes my fingers are just too slow.
Super Footwear Girl: pudgy little bastards....
Mr. Heartbreaker: shut your whine hole
Mr. Heartbreaker: wow, that sounded much more vulgar than i meant it to
Super Footwear Girl: hey my whine hole is not vulgar, it is a beautiful piece of natur ethank you
Mr. Heartbreaker: so, what are you doing friday night
Super Footwear Girl: eating poo... nothing as of yet, probably working on craphole island, why?
Mr. Heartbreaker: wanna come to an asinine bravery show with me
Super Footwear Girl: today I will teach an english leason
Super Footwear Girl: children, what did the great writer Mr. Heartbreaker mean by his famous line "Mr. Heartbreaker: wanna come to an asinine bravery show with me" in his most sardonic epic pom "Ode to my ex-girlfriend"
thebadgummybear: what are you asking Mr. Heartbreaker?
Mr. Heartbreaker: i'm asking, would you like to accompany a group of friends, including myself, to a show on Friday night?
Super Footwear Girl: what show? it sounds like you're asking me to a jousting tournament
Mr. Heartbreaker: the bravery
Mr. Heartbreaker: the band whose CD never leaves my stereo
Super Footwear Girl:: no thank you
Super Footwear Girl: you listen to... how shall I put this.... the music that Satan rejects....
Mr. Heartbreaker: well, you listen to crickets chirp when you tell jokes
Mr. Heartbreaker: lol. did i actually do that?
Super Footwear Girl: yes yes you did
Super Footwear Girl: god I am so on fire tonight that I am draining you of your comic mojo
Mr. Heartbreaker: i don't doubt it at all
Super Footwear Girl: you're zinger just hit the floor and it sounded like this :
Super Footwear Girl: NOTHING! CAUSE THERE WAS NO ZING IN YOU ZINGER
Super Footwear Girl: budum chi
Mr. Heartbreaker: the other night, i ate pudding with a straw
Super Footwear Girl: mmm pudding....
Mr. Heartbreaker: wait, no, i know i ate something more ludicrous with a straw lately...
Super Footwear Girl: I am so making this into a blog
Mr. Heartbreaker: oh, i remember! I sucked the cream filling out of a donut.
Super Footwear Girl: nu-uh
Super Footwear Girl: nobody wastes a good cream filled donut like that
Super Footwear Girl: I'm rereading our conversation and editing some of the smudgy bits.... just you wait
Mr. Heartbreaker: i wait with bated breath
Super Footwear Girl: bated or baited
Mr. Heartbreaker: bated, right?
Super Footwear Girl: it was a play on words there for you
Super Footwear Girl: god should i pull up a chaise lounge and drag you around so you can keep up?
Mr. Heartbreaker: sorry, i'm semi-tired
Super Footwear Girl: you mind is getting fat and lazy
Super Footwear Girl: stop eating mind bon-bons