I am taking a cue from Jeff Foxworthy here (a fact which may cause my weekly readership to drop by a whole person...) and I am going to make a "You might drive me crazy if..." list. Here goes. If you answer yes to any of these, stop sucking. (LOL: Disclaimer- Think about who I am before taking too much of this seriously)
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You walk crooked when walking with me down a hall way, in a mall, on a promenade, at the beach, ect..
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF.... You talk over me in the middle of a story
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You DRIVE in the left lane of the highway at 42.5 miles an hour.
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You sleep til 2PM, stay up till 5AM and still wonder why I'm too tired to talk to you at night and too busy during the day.
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You provoke someone else to anger and then yell at them.
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You get mad at ME because you fit one of these descriptions.
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You don't have a job but you have mommy and daddy's credit card.
YOU MGIHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You're my ex-boyfriend just calling to tell me you're gay
YOU MIGHT DRIVE ME CRAZY IF... You stop reading my blog because I make to many crazy lists.
Yeah, there are more, but Mr.Future Millionaire is calling and yeah, he's more important than this crazy list.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Blowing a tire... well, blows.
It took 2.4 of my family members to come rescue me at the local mall and change my tire after I rammed it (yes RAMMED it) into the gayest cobblestone median strip in the entire world. Did I know it was there? Oh yea. Do I pass it every night and hit it 26 out of 27 times? Yep. Was tonight the night my tire decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I CAN'T WORK FOR THIS BISCH ANYMORE? Yyyyyeeep. Yessir. Yeperoni.
I am going to bed now.
Am I changing out of my grungy pavement encrusted pants and washing my luge-nutty hands? Nope.
It took 2.4 of my family members to come rescue me at the local mall and change my tire after I rammed it (yes RAMMED it) into the gayest cobblestone median strip in the entire world. Did I know it was there? Oh yea. Do I pass it every night and hit it 26 out of 27 times? Yep. Was tonight the night my tire decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, I CAN'T WORK FOR THIS BISCH ANYMORE? Yyyyyeeep. Yessir. Yeperoni.
I am going to bed now.
Am I changing out of my grungy pavement encrusted pants and washing my luge-nutty hands? Nope.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I am recalling dreams I have had.
Of the sweet southern sun kissing my cheeks while pairasailing in Panama. Of blowing foam off of the top of a yard of German beer. Of walking the beaches in the french Riviera. Of Desert Storm and all it's torments.
Surely it's true these are not my dreams, or my memories. They are a gift, memories on loan from my brother. I don't think I talk about my brother much here, but I think it's about time.
My brother is 13 years older than me (I have two, the other is 10 years my senior) Being so much older, we find it hard to have a common ground on any issue. He's democratic but has conservative viewpoints, I'm republican and have view points that make sense. He's atheist, I'm baptist. His dad is rich and left our mom with nothing when he married his cousin, My dad... well, il est disparu. We grew up seperatly, worlds apart. He was raised by my youthful mother and a maid in a huge house with a farm, I was raised by a woman who was burned out and left bankrupt in a three bedroom apartment. But despite or differences, we have the oddest similarities. I look like he spit me out, we're both giants with dark brown hair and uncommonly good skin and grossly dispropotionate noses. We both love our mother, we both wish we had better dads, and we both miss our grandmother more than life. But other than that, that's about all I know about my big brother.
He left for the Navy when I was 5 (he was 17.) And all I remeber was having him one day and seeing him again in August, twice his size and all about me. He used to pick my up from school ealry as a treat and take me out for snowballs. When he was home, we would sleep together, eat together, and talk... Well, he would talk and I would listen. All the adults would bustle about, bringing by his favorite foods and saying how big and strong he'd gotten and I would watch, knowing he had just returned from doing something really important. He would talk about pairasailing in Panama, drinking in Germany, and walking the streets of Italy where our great grand parents came from. Everything in his short but treasured letters from him would unfold with gifts, pictures, and live interpretations of his travels. He would talk about the pretty girls and friends he'd made. He would talk about how much he missed us, and how glad he was to be home. Everyone else would pat him on the head and tell him how proud they were of him and how much they envied him in his travels.
By the time I was old enough to understand what my brother was doing, I was old enough to hate him. His temper and racism cut through my admiration for him like a warm knife through butter. He opted not to re-sign for a third term in the Navy and moved into our mothers town home, brining his bi-polar, pain-killer addicted wife and grumpy countenance. He told me how much he hated me for ruining his rich lifestyle and how if only I had never been born...
Something had changed in him. To this day, I don't know how he came to hate me. He used to be my big brother and now he's Gar, my half-brother who holds dual ownership of my mother with his brother. He has cut me out of our inheritance and kicked me out of our small family.
But I remember seeing him smile in those pictures in the Gulf Coast. I remember when he was tan and muscular and all the girls loved him, even me. I remember when I thought "When I grow up I'm marrying a man like my brother" I remember the letters and the 3 AM phone calls from the air craft carrier and the weekends on base and the vacations on the military resorts. I remember seeing him cry at my grandmothers funeral and wanting no one else to comfort me more than my big, strong older brother.
I don't know hwere to find him like he used to be. But maybe if I were as I used to be, adoring and quiet, maybe he'll come to me in a dream.
Of the sweet southern sun kissing my cheeks while pairasailing in Panama. Of blowing foam off of the top of a yard of German beer. Of walking the beaches in the french Riviera. Of Desert Storm and all it's torments.
Surely it's true these are not my dreams, or my memories. They are a gift, memories on loan from my brother. I don't think I talk about my brother much here, but I think it's about time.
My brother is 13 years older than me (I have two, the other is 10 years my senior) Being so much older, we find it hard to have a common ground on any issue. He's democratic but has conservative viewpoints, I'm republican and have view points that make sense. He's atheist, I'm baptist. His dad is rich and left our mom with nothing when he married his cousin, My dad... well, il est disparu. We grew up seperatly, worlds apart. He was raised by my youthful mother and a maid in a huge house with a farm, I was raised by a woman who was burned out and left bankrupt in a three bedroom apartment. But despite or differences, we have the oddest similarities. I look like he spit me out, we're both giants with dark brown hair and uncommonly good skin and grossly dispropotionate noses. We both love our mother, we both wish we had better dads, and we both miss our grandmother more than life. But other than that, that's about all I know about my big brother.
He left for the Navy when I was 5 (he was 17.) And all I remeber was having him one day and seeing him again in August, twice his size and all about me. He used to pick my up from school ealry as a treat and take me out for snowballs. When he was home, we would sleep together, eat together, and talk... Well, he would talk and I would listen. All the adults would bustle about, bringing by his favorite foods and saying how big and strong he'd gotten and I would watch, knowing he had just returned from doing something really important. He would talk about pairasailing in Panama, drinking in Germany, and walking the streets of Italy where our great grand parents came from. Everything in his short but treasured letters from him would unfold with gifts, pictures, and live interpretations of his travels. He would talk about the pretty girls and friends he'd made. He would talk about how much he missed us, and how glad he was to be home. Everyone else would pat him on the head and tell him how proud they were of him and how much they envied him in his travels.
By the time I was old enough to understand what my brother was doing, I was old enough to hate him. His temper and racism cut through my admiration for him like a warm knife through butter. He opted not to re-sign for a third term in the Navy and moved into our mothers town home, brining his bi-polar, pain-killer addicted wife and grumpy countenance. He told me how much he hated me for ruining his rich lifestyle and how if only I had never been born...
Something had changed in him. To this day, I don't know how he came to hate me. He used to be my big brother and now he's Gar, my half-brother who holds dual ownership of my mother with his brother. He has cut me out of our inheritance and kicked me out of our small family.
But I remember seeing him smile in those pictures in the Gulf Coast. I remember when he was tan and muscular and all the girls loved him, even me. I remember when I thought "When I grow up I'm marrying a man like my brother" I remember the letters and the 3 AM phone calls from the air craft carrier and the weekends on base and the vacations on the military resorts. I remember seeing him cry at my grandmothers funeral and wanting no one else to comfort me more than my big, strong older brother.
I don't know hwere to find him like he used to be. But maybe if I were as I used to be, adoring and quiet, maybe he'll come to me in a dream.
Monday, May 16, 2005
Some people think i can't leave well enough alone. They think that I can't take a hint. They might even think I am crazy.
But on the quest to prove my sanity, I think that I might have made myself out to be padded room, drooling mouth, in need of sedation, certifiable insane.
I just wanted him to tell me he lied to me. i just wanted him to say that he never loved me and that, even though he said it, he never wanted to be with me. I just want.... the truth... just this once.
But he denied it, he said basically that I heard what I wanted to hear and that he never was really in love with me he just said what he felt in that moment and that I can do whatever I want in regards to keeping in touch with him. He apologized 2when he was forced to, but included the comment, "What, are you traumitized by this?"
Yes.
"what do you want me to say?"
You're sorry. And that you suck.
"I'm sorry, I lied to you. I am a liar and a cheat. You never deserved to be treated like that and I recognize that I hurt you. I never meant to do that. Never. I just wasn't true enough with my emotions and I was too naive to realize that what i said and did had such an impact on you. I wish I could take it back but I all I can do now is apologize and let you live your life without me. Please forgive me, but if you don't I'll understand..."
That's all I want... I guess that's asking too much of the man with the whiskers...
So long Mr. Hamster, Hello Mr. Heartache.
But on the quest to prove my sanity, I think that I might have made myself out to be padded room, drooling mouth, in need of sedation, certifiable insane.
I just wanted him to tell me he lied to me. i just wanted him to say that he never loved me and that, even though he said it, he never wanted to be with me. I just want.... the truth... just this once.
But he denied it, he said basically that I heard what I wanted to hear and that he never was really in love with me he just said what he felt in that moment and that I can do whatever I want in regards to keeping in touch with him. He apologized 2when he was forced to, but included the comment, "What, are you traumitized by this?"
Yes.
"what do you want me to say?"
You're sorry. And that you suck.
"I'm sorry, I lied to you. I am a liar and a cheat. You never deserved to be treated like that and I recognize that I hurt you. I never meant to do that. Never. I just wasn't true enough with my emotions and I was too naive to realize that what i said and did had such an impact on you. I wish I could take it back but I all I can do now is apologize and let you live your life without me. Please forgive me, but if you don't I'll understand..."
That's all I want... I guess that's asking too much of the man with the whiskers...
So long Mr. Hamster, Hello Mr. Heartache.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
I cried a little today. just a little. A half of a tear.
Maybe it doesn't mean much to the untrained ear, but me crying a little is a sign of quick comfort and reassurance. A little cry means that I am not happy, but ok with that. or a little cry means that I am talking or goign through something difficult but I find comfort in whatever is at hand. My little cry today was all Mr.Millionaires fault and his blessing.
We got to talking (actually he got to asking... Sometimes he leads me into conversations that are seemingly unpointed and harmless, then when you're stuck in the middle of them you realier you have to admit your whole lifes sins and trangressions or hang up the phone and change your name)and he asked me if I was mad at him last year. Last year when his Miss.Bunny said "that's Mr.Millionaire, the kid that's in love with me" (in her usual snotty and underhanded manner, dripping with unnecessary detatchment and dismissal, as if he weren't a real person and my dearest friend) little did I know he really did like her, but I, in all of my infinite wisdom, retorted with "no, that's Mr. MIllionaire, the kid that's always been in love with ME..." (insert hair toss and smile here) He didn't talk to me the rest of the summer (when i thought we were on the track for a nice long hit) And his reason for ignoring me was that I got in a "fight" with her and I "started stuff." Neither of which were ever true. How was I to know he really was smitten with her? And how was I to know that she wasn't really a snob with no more interest in him than he has in chocolate (he's mostly allergic...)
We talked more and I explained that I could have never been mad at him because if I hadn't let Mr.Hamster talk me out of what i knew was right and seduce me for the sole purpose of having a date for prom, none of this would have ever happened. Then we talked about my prom and how much fun he had and about how I'm still all about a bonfire for the SOLE PURPOSE of burning my dress and all evidence of my going to prom.
I'm really glad that he and I had that conversation though. the little tear came somewhere in between the "I was never mad at you" and the "It was all my fault." I wish there had been a "I love you" and a "I wish you could know that I mean that with all my heart" in there. But he stopped me at my one little tear and said "You know I'm not good with words... it's said that men use 500 words a day while women use upwards of 2500 and I still have a little bit of day left so I have to stop hear before i use them up..."
I think I met my quota here and now, so I will leave you with a half of a tear...
Maybe it doesn't mean much to the untrained ear, but me crying a little is a sign of quick comfort and reassurance. A little cry means that I am not happy, but ok with that. or a little cry means that I am talking or goign through something difficult but I find comfort in whatever is at hand. My little cry today was all Mr.Millionaires fault and his blessing.
We got to talking (actually he got to asking... Sometimes he leads me into conversations that are seemingly unpointed and harmless, then when you're stuck in the middle of them you realier you have to admit your whole lifes sins and trangressions or hang up the phone and change your name)and he asked me if I was mad at him last year. Last year when his Miss.Bunny said "that's Mr.Millionaire, the kid that's in love with me" (in her usual snotty and underhanded manner, dripping with unnecessary detatchment and dismissal, as if he weren't a real person and my dearest friend) little did I know he really did like her, but I, in all of my infinite wisdom, retorted with "no, that's Mr. MIllionaire, the kid that's always been in love with ME..." (insert hair toss and smile here) He didn't talk to me the rest of the summer (when i thought we were on the track for a nice long hit) And his reason for ignoring me was that I got in a "fight" with her and I "started stuff." Neither of which were ever true. How was I to know he really was smitten with her? And how was I to know that she wasn't really a snob with no more interest in him than he has in chocolate (he's mostly allergic...)
We talked more and I explained that I could have never been mad at him because if I hadn't let Mr.Hamster talk me out of what i knew was right and seduce me for the sole purpose of having a date for prom, none of this would have ever happened. Then we talked about my prom and how much fun he had and about how I'm still all about a bonfire for the SOLE PURPOSE of burning my dress and all evidence of my going to prom.
I'm really glad that he and I had that conversation though. the little tear came somewhere in between the "I was never mad at you" and the "It was all my fault." I wish there had been a "I love you" and a "I wish you could know that I mean that with all my heart" in there. But he stopped me at my one little tear and said "You know I'm not good with words... it's said that men use 500 words a day while women use upwards of 2500 and I still have a little bit of day left so I have to stop hear before i use them up..."
I think I met my quota here and now, so I will leave you with a half of a tear...
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Your potential is unlimited in all that you've chosen to do. Do not assume that a soul which has incarnated in a body which you call limited has not reached it's full potential, for you do not know what that soul was trying to do. You do not understand it's agenda. You are unclear to it's intent.
Therefore bless every person and condition, and give thanks. Thus you affirm the perfection of God's creation-and you show your faith in it. For nothing happens by accident in God's world, and there is no such thing as coincidence. Nor is the world buffeted by random choice, or something you call fate.
If a snowflake is utterly perfect in its design, do you not think the same coule be said about somehting as magnificent as your life?
Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch
And what of life, or of college, or of my family, or of marriage? What of this business of "making something of myself?" Who are you to judge that my station in life, that the place which I have chosen to stop short and reflect before reaching the fullest glory of my life that God has alotted me- is not in a state of constant motion, is not acceptable? Who are you to dismiss my choice for my fulfillment in God's plan for me?
Who are you to say that God gave me wisdom to go to college? Who are you to sya that I should conform to your level of "rightness" in order to succeed in this world?
That's all.
Therefore bless every person and condition, and give thanks. Thus you affirm the perfection of God's creation-and you show your faith in it. For nothing happens by accident in God's world, and there is no such thing as coincidence. Nor is the world buffeted by random choice, or something you call fate.
If a snowflake is utterly perfect in its design, do you not think the same coule be said about somehting as magnificent as your life?
Conversations with God, Neale Donald Walsch
And what of life, or of college, or of my family, or of marriage? What of this business of "making something of myself?" Who are you to judge that my station in life, that the place which I have chosen to stop short and reflect before reaching the fullest glory of my life that God has alotted me- is not in a state of constant motion, is not acceptable? Who are you to dismiss my choice for my fulfillment in God's plan for me?
Who are you to say that God gave me wisdom to go to college? Who are you to sya that I should conform to your level of "rightness" in order to succeed in this world?
That's all.
I don't get it...
I don't get how everytime I write a nice piece about my ex boyfriends, my fiance and root bear floats how the internet in all its wisdom can decide that it is not worth of posting. I am just plain baffled...
I also don't get how on my day off I always get the call "louise... can you work for a little while today?" Darn it people, just schedule me everyday and call me when you DON'T need me...
At any rate, Miss. Woo-woo and I went ring shopping yesterday. Yeha, that's right I went fake engagement ring shopping... Pathetic? No. Enjoyable? Very. And i decided that along with my non-traditional gold dress, I also want a non-traditional pearl ring. One perfect white Mikimoto pearl with four tiny diamonds on either side flat set in white gold (are you taking notes mr.bunny?)
I guess thats all, since I have lost my mojo due to an internal error in my stupid computer...
BAH
I don't get how everytime I write a nice piece about my ex boyfriends, my fiance and root bear floats how the internet in all its wisdom can decide that it is not worth of posting. I am just plain baffled...
I also don't get how on my day off I always get the call "louise... can you work for a little while today?" Darn it people, just schedule me everyday and call me when you DON'T need me...
At any rate, Miss. Woo-woo and I went ring shopping yesterday. Yeha, that's right I went fake engagement ring shopping... Pathetic? No. Enjoyable? Very. And i decided that along with my non-traditional gold dress, I also want a non-traditional pearl ring. One perfect white Mikimoto pearl with four tiny diamonds on either side flat set in white gold (are you taking notes mr.bunny?)
I guess thats all, since I have lost my mojo due to an internal error in my stupid computer...
BAH
Friday, May 06, 2005
Mr. Future Millionaire is definatly back. I would like to cordially invite you all to the wedding, the second wednesday twenty years from now.
You know I was thinking that other day that he and I have nothing in common. He likes dogs, I like cats. He's a business only kind of guy, and I'm a art school kind of girl. He failed english, i can't stop my fingers from creating wordy masterpeices. He likes ice cream snowballs, I like ice cream. He wants no more than 2 kids, I wasn no less than 5. He likes fast cars, I like buicks. He wants a woman who can work beside him. I want to be a stay at home, Kool-aid mom. He's going to college, I'm freelancing life. I'm an ubber christian and he just doesn't get it. He's all abotu the $$$ and I could care less. (Well, not true. I do like my jewelry and my car.... but I would go without if I had to)
He's a hard worker and I'm... a hard worker. He likes my parents.. and I like that my parents like him. He is adorable, and I ... well, I am a goddess. (insert laugh track here) We both like scary movies. We're best friends and have been since the moment we met. He wants to protect me and I want to be protected. I can't get enough of him and he likes it that way. Everybody likes both of us. (well, not everyone, but enough that i can say everyone and not feel bad about it) He likes to fish and thinks that my only place in the whole process is next to the frying pan, and while I like to fish, I might be ok with being spared of touching the bait and of sitting on a boat for 10 hours and of scaling them.He likes to drive fast and I like to be driven fast.
As Miss.Salsbury has said "Similarities all around"
You know I was thinking that other day that he and I have nothing in common. He likes dogs, I like cats. He's a business only kind of guy, and I'm a art school kind of girl. He failed english, i can't stop my fingers from creating wordy masterpeices. He likes ice cream snowballs, I like ice cream. He wants no more than 2 kids, I wasn no less than 5. He likes fast cars, I like buicks. He wants a woman who can work beside him. I want to be a stay at home, Kool-aid mom. He's going to college, I'm freelancing life. I'm an ubber christian and he just doesn't get it. He's all abotu the $$$ and I could care less. (Well, not true. I do like my jewelry and my car.... but I would go without if I had to)
He's a hard worker and I'm... a hard worker. He likes my parents.. and I like that my parents like him. He is adorable, and I ... well, I am a goddess. (insert laugh track here) We both like scary movies. We're best friends and have been since the moment we met. He wants to protect me and I want to be protected. I can't get enough of him and he likes it that way. Everybody likes both of us. (well, not everyone, but enough that i can say everyone and not feel bad about it) He likes to fish and thinks that my only place in the whole process is next to the frying pan, and while I like to fish, I might be ok with being spared of touching the bait and of sitting on a boat for 10 hours and of scaling them.He likes to drive fast and I like to be driven fast.
As Miss.Salsbury has said "Similarities all around"
Monday, May 02, 2005
AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION ABOUT LITTLE PRINCES, FOXES, AND THE SAHARA DESERT:
Miss Salsbury: i forgot to tell you-the little prince was awesome
thebadgummybear: AHHH!
thebadgummybear: I'm so glad you liked it
thebadgummybear: once you said you were really going to read it i started doubting it
thebadgummybear: i thought maybe It was really just a book written especially for me
thebadgummybear: oh i am so glad you liked it!
Miss Salsbury: it was like reading everything you've ever know was true in life but no one else seemed to get
thebadgummybear: I KNOW
Miss Salsbury: everything the prince said was what is important in life
thebadgummybear: I know and I feel like if i were stranded in the sahara, I would find him
thebadgummybear: I knew if anyone would get it it would be you
thebadgummybear: what was your favorite planet?
Miss Salsbury: i liked the one with the king, he was just so typical
thebadgummybear: lol, my favorite is the tippler
thebadgummybear: and my favorite earth encounter was the fox, I reread that part all teh time
Miss Salsbury: i liked the well best
thebadgummybear: yeah, that part makes me cry...sybolically what did you think of it? (insert 10 page analysis here)
Miss Salsbury: lol i like it because like so many things in life you can tell someone that it exists and when it doesn't seem likely they don't believe until they see it, kinda like God a little bit for some ppl
thebadgummybear: yeah, that's what i liked about it... sort of like the wind thing, you can't see it but you can see the effects of it... I wanted all of my friends to read it at the end of high school... I think when it was all said and done, no one could deny the memories and the impact we had on eachother, and some, like you and brian, had your love in hand, like him and his sheep, while others only had the color of the wheat to remind them of joy
thebadgummybear: sorry, i love this book so much
Miss Salsbury: it is a great book
thebadgummybear: DISCLAIMER this may becoming a blog entry
Miss Salsbury: the comment about if i had 53 minutes to myself by the prince is a great line
thebadgummybear: yeah
thebadgummybear: the whole book is one great line
Miss Salsbury: i got into it much faster than i thought i would
thebadgummybear: i find myself wanting to quote the book but having to quote like whole chapters because it's so good
thebadgummybear: yeah there's only 82 pages to love it or hate it
thebadgummybear: thats why I'm not afraid to tell people to read it cause if they hate it at most the waste 2 hours
Miss Salsbury: i know, i wish it were longer
thebadgummybear: no, just re-read it
thebadgummybear: I've literally read it 100 times since I was 7
Miss Salsbury: i will have to get my own copy of it, it is on the ever growing list to buy
thebadgummybear: everytime you read it, it will sound different
thebadgummybear: what else is on your list?
Miss Salsbury: caribbean and tales of the south pacific by james michener (i love him), the old man and the sea by hemingway, that summer by sarah dessen, the whole series of hitchhikers books by douglas adams, the iowa baseball confederacy by w p kinsella, and a bunch more, the real list is home
thebadgummybear: the old man and the sea, how was that
thebadgummybear: i forgot about that one, that was on my list a while ago
Miss Salsbury: i enjoyed it, it is one that you have to get into, but its short and its very heavy on religious symbolism
thebadgummybear: I remeber somone talking about it, but i can't remember if they liked it or hated it, but I figure if they talk, that's enough to check it out
Miss Salsbury: i am leery of seeing it since i loved the books so much
thebadgummybear: it was good, I haven't rea dthe book yet but I went with a group of people who LOVED the books, and they liked it a lot
Miss Salsbury:i may see it, it kills me when they screw up a book terribly, they did a good job adapting the godfather, and the notebook was okay, but the butchered shoeless joe (movie version is field of dreams, good movie but so not the book) and they totally killed one of my fav books, that summer, when they made it into how to deal by combining it with another book by the same author titled someone like you
thebadgummybear: yeah I don't usually see to many book movies of books I've read because of that fear, but everyone liked it, and i think you will, atleast just for entertainments sake
SUMMARY:
Read the Little Prince, Tell me it's awesome, I will love you (if I don't already.)
:) :) :) :)
Miss Salsbury: i forgot to tell you-the little prince was awesome
thebadgummybear: AHHH!
thebadgummybear: I'm so glad you liked it
thebadgummybear: once you said you were really going to read it i started doubting it
thebadgummybear: i thought maybe It was really just a book written especially for me
thebadgummybear: oh i am so glad you liked it!
Miss Salsbury: it was like reading everything you've ever know was true in life but no one else seemed to get
thebadgummybear: I KNOW
Miss Salsbury: everything the prince said was what is important in life
thebadgummybear: I know and I feel like if i were stranded in the sahara, I would find him
thebadgummybear: I knew if anyone would get it it would be you
thebadgummybear: what was your favorite planet?
Miss Salsbury: i liked the one with the king, he was just so typical
thebadgummybear: lol, my favorite is the tippler
thebadgummybear: and my favorite earth encounter was the fox, I reread that part all teh time
Miss Salsbury: i liked the well best
thebadgummybear: yeah, that part makes me cry...sybolically what did you think of it? (insert 10 page analysis here)
Miss Salsbury: lol i like it because like so many things in life you can tell someone that it exists and when it doesn't seem likely they don't believe until they see it, kinda like God a little bit for some ppl
thebadgummybear: yeah, that's what i liked about it... sort of like the wind thing, you can't see it but you can see the effects of it... I wanted all of my friends to read it at the end of high school... I think when it was all said and done, no one could deny the memories and the impact we had on eachother, and some, like you and brian, had your love in hand, like him and his sheep, while others only had the color of the wheat to remind them of joy
thebadgummybear: sorry, i love this book so much
Miss Salsbury: it is a great book
thebadgummybear: DISCLAIMER this may becoming a blog entry
Miss Salsbury: the comment about if i had 53 minutes to myself by the prince is a great line
thebadgummybear: yeah
thebadgummybear: the whole book is one great line
Miss Salsbury: i got into it much faster than i thought i would
thebadgummybear: i find myself wanting to quote the book but having to quote like whole chapters because it's so good
thebadgummybear: yeah there's only 82 pages to love it or hate it
thebadgummybear: thats why I'm not afraid to tell people to read it cause if they hate it at most the waste 2 hours
Miss Salsbury: i know, i wish it were longer
thebadgummybear: no, just re-read it
thebadgummybear: I've literally read it 100 times since I was 7
Miss Salsbury: i will have to get my own copy of it, it is on the ever growing list to buy
thebadgummybear: everytime you read it, it will sound different
thebadgummybear: what else is on your list?
Miss Salsbury: caribbean and tales of the south pacific by james michener (i love him), the old man and the sea by hemingway, that summer by sarah dessen, the whole series of hitchhikers books by douglas adams, the iowa baseball confederacy by w p kinsella, and a bunch more, the real list is home
thebadgummybear: the old man and the sea, how was that
thebadgummybear: i forgot about that one, that was on my list a while ago
Miss Salsbury: i enjoyed it, it is one that you have to get into, but its short and its very heavy on religious symbolism
thebadgummybear: I remeber somone talking about it, but i can't remember if they liked it or hated it, but I figure if they talk, that's enough to check it out
Miss Salsbury: i am leery of seeing it since i loved the books so much
thebadgummybear: it was good, I haven't rea dthe book yet but I went with a group of people who LOVED the books, and they liked it a lot
Miss Salsbury:i may see it, it kills me when they screw up a book terribly, they did a good job adapting the godfather, and the notebook was okay, but the butchered shoeless joe (movie version is field of dreams, good movie but so not the book) and they totally killed one of my fav books, that summer, when they made it into how to deal by combining it with another book by the same author titled someone like you
thebadgummybear: yeah I don't usually see to many book movies of books I've read because of that fear, but everyone liked it, and i think you will, atleast just for entertainments sake
SUMMARY:
Read the Little Prince, Tell me it's awesome, I will love you (if I don't already.)
:) :) :) :)
Friday, April 29, 2005
Ok I know I know, two blog entries on a day when I am supposed to be non-living...
I don't even know what I want this particular entry to say, but when called to speak or be heard, this is my only option as of late. I haven't really got anything to say but I know I could if I thought long enough...
hmpapapapa I could make another list... i could talk about on of my Mr.'s. I could be brutally honest about someone I dislkie. I could talk about God. I could discuss the pro's and con's of living on a tropical island. but none of this strike be as universe changing, life-altering, world spining topics and thats what I am game for right now.
Okay, God it is then. Not in the sense that I'm settling, mind you, but my readers are sure to be tired of "all this God talk" by now. (Hopefully not, but...) I've been reading a lot of C.S. Lewis for no particular reason other than the fact that I have a need to write a book report and no one to write for. Well, and the reason that somoen told me he was a pretty awesome writer which, as it turns out, is true. I read straight through the Chronicles of Narnia (which only took about 3 months, due to my rediculously long stop in between the Horse and His Boy and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader... for no particular reason) and now I am reading "A grief Observed" and "The Four Loves."
A grief observed may have admittedly been the reason for the outburst about my Aunt. I read it and started thinking that "if I had this book when my Grandmother died, perhaps my whole Christian journey would have been different.. perhaps I would have understood God more... understood prayer more" and then I got to thinking that I hadn't thought about my Grandmother in a while and then I got to thinking that my aunt has the same sickness and how dare God do this to another Mainelli woman and then I just stopped thinking. I just went completely blank. I had a mind halt.SCCCCCCCCCHREECH!!!! Maybe that's why I could sleep so long today. My mind sequestered itself.
And now for the Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis. Here's Miss. Underclassman to give us a dramatic reading of it: Just kidding I haven't actually read it yet... well I have... the first four pages... and it's turning out to be good.
And I think that's all the world changing I have left in me on this nothingness kind of day.
I don't really think I accomplished anything except for keeping my eyes open and my mind conscious.
I don't even know what I want this particular entry to say, but when called to speak or be heard, this is my only option as of late. I haven't really got anything to say but I know I could if I thought long enough...
hmpapapapa I could make another list... i could talk about on of my Mr.'s. I could be brutally honest about someone I dislkie. I could talk about God. I could discuss the pro's and con's of living on a tropical island. but none of this strike be as universe changing, life-altering, world spining topics and thats what I am game for right now.
Okay, God it is then. Not in the sense that I'm settling, mind you, but my readers are sure to be tired of "all this God talk" by now. (Hopefully not, but...) I've been reading a lot of C.S. Lewis for no particular reason other than the fact that I have a need to write a book report and no one to write for. Well, and the reason that somoen told me he was a pretty awesome writer which, as it turns out, is true. I read straight through the Chronicles of Narnia (which only took about 3 months, due to my rediculously long stop in between the Horse and His Boy and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader... for no particular reason) and now I am reading "A grief Observed" and "The Four Loves."
A grief observed may have admittedly been the reason for the outburst about my Aunt. I read it and started thinking that "if I had this book when my Grandmother died, perhaps my whole Christian journey would have been different.. perhaps I would have understood God more... understood prayer more" and then I got to thinking that I hadn't thought about my Grandmother in a while and then I got to thinking that my aunt has the same sickness and how dare God do this to another Mainelli woman and then I just stopped thinking. I just went completely blank. I had a mind halt.SCCCCCCCCCHREECH!!!! Maybe that's why I could sleep so long today. My mind sequestered itself.
And now for the Four Loves, by C.S. Lewis. Here's Miss. Underclassman to give us a dramatic reading of it: Just kidding I haven't actually read it yet... well I have... the first four pages... and it's turning out to be good.
And I think that's all the world changing I have left in me on this nothingness kind of day.
I don't really think I accomplished anything except for keeping my eyes open and my mind conscious.
i just spent the whole day in bed protesting life.
Well, not the whole day, seeing as it's 11:55 and I'm typing a blog. And not really protesting life, either. Just plain sleeping. Sleeping and enjoying the wicked dreams my brain came up with. I've been awake for about an hour just daydreaming in bed. I haven't done this since I was a kid.
The reason for my half-protest is half-exhaustion. I don't know whether it's a reaction to the emotion things I've been going through or the work stuff or just my body saying NO MORE LIFE! but I slept a good 12 hours and i feel as though i could stand another 8, but I'm so thouroughly disgusted with myself that i had to atleast be awake.
Wanna know what I dreamt about? Work. Family. Friends. The same things I live, only in fake distorted ways like only my subconcious minds can provide.
Wanna know what I day-dreamt about? Mr.Future Millionaire. Our perfect wedding. Our adorable kids. Him giving in to my whining and keeping the Buick that I love so much. Things only my semi concious mind can cook up.
Maybe I should just go back to bed and forget actually living today...
Well, not the whole day, seeing as it's 11:55 and I'm typing a blog. And not really protesting life, either. Just plain sleeping. Sleeping and enjoying the wicked dreams my brain came up with. I've been awake for about an hour just daydreaming in bed. I haven't done this since I was a kid.
The reason for my half-protest is half-exhaustion. I don't know whether it's a reaction to the emotion things I've been going through or the work stuff or just my body saying NO MORE LIFE! but I slept a good 12 hours and i feel as though i could stand another 8, but I'm so thouroughly disgusted with myself that i had to atleast be awake.
Wanna know what I dreamt about? Work. Family. Friends. The same things I live, only in fake distorted ways like only my subconcious minds can provide.
Wanna know what I day-dreamt about? Mr.Future Millionaire. Our perfect wedding. Our adorable kids. Him giving in to my whining and keeping the Buick that I love so much. Things only my semi concious mind can cook up.
Maybe I should just go back to bed and forget actually living today...
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
I hate having bad days. But what I love after having an awful day is coming home and seeing a random comment on my blog from someone I don't know. It makes a girl feel that much more heard, even if it's only about the activities of one's nostrils.
I also love steak. Flank steak, ribeye, skillet, skirt, cube... I just have a general affinity for beef. J'aime bien le biftec... biftec biftec...
So this entry is dangerously teetering on becoming another list of random thoughts only because today has been so awful, so horrid, so.. so forgettably bad that Imy mind is drawing a blank on how to communicate properly.
I have to share something on blogger that I have not yet. My aunt has cancer. My perfect, lovely, funny, sweet, awesome aunt who loves me more than life and loves life more than herself and loves Christ above all else has breast cancer. And I haven't called her. I haven't written her. I haven't made her dress (long story.) I haven't heard her tell me a joke since I found out because I'm afraid to call her and hear her be afraid. And I'm scared to tell her everything is going to be okay if in fact it turns out that even saints on earth have to die. I'm just plain selfish and stupid and young and scared that... that she might die. That the best christian woman I have to follow after and possibly the best I have ever known might be taken from me. forever. FOREVER. Well, okay not forever like eternity... but until I die and i see her in heaven... if she's even my aunt in heaven... if it even matters by then... FOREVER. FOREVER...
That's a long time...
I also love steak. Flank steak, ribeye, skillet, skirt, cube... I just have a general affinity for beef. J'aime bien le biftec... biftec biftec...
So this entry is dangerously teetering on becoming another list of random thoughts only because today has been so awful, so horrid, so.. so forgettably bad that Imy mind is drawing a blank on how to communicate properly.
I have to share something on blogger that I have not yet. My aunt has cancer. My perfect, lovely, funny, sweet, awesome aunt who loves me more than life and loves life more than herself and loves Christ above all else has breast cancer. And I haven't called her. I haven't written her. I haven't made her dress (long story.) I haven't heard her tell me a joke since I found out because I'm afraid to call her and hear her be afraid. And I'm scared to tell her everything is going to be okay if in fact it turns out that even saints on earth have to die. I'm just plain selfish and stupid and young and scared that... that she might die. That the best christian woman I have to follow after and possibly the best I have ever known might be taken from me. forever. FOREVER. Well, okay not forever like eternity... but until I die and i see her in heaven... if she's even my aunt in heaven... if it even matters by then... FOREVER. FOREVER...
That's a long time...
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
I just put someone to sleep... That's a first for me.
I was having my nightly phone call from the previously un-aformentioned Mr... Mr... Mr.Cool, and we were making a list of things that annoy us/ make us cringe or generally ruin our lives when I noticed his voice getting fainter and fainter and finally, a light snoring sound on my side of the line. After a few "yoo-hoo"s and whispers of his name I finally smiled and bid him good night.
But, As for the list we made, here's just a small sampling of it:
1.) People who think Basketball is sponsored by the National Boxing league
2.)People who think that learning about culture and studying the world will make them demi-gods and therefore they are too self-sufficient for a Savior.
3.) People who think you owe them something. Or who think they own you. People who think that just because they're "nice enough" to you that you should bow to their will forever.
4.) People who think that You're selfish when you haven't got the time or energy to be there for them EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY.
5.) Hypocrites.
6.) The plastic sticky wrappy thingys on cds and DVDs.
7.) Friends who know nothing about you.
8.) People who complain when they are not perfect.
9.) People who complain when you're not perfect.
10.) When someone doesn't value your opinion as highly as their own.
11.) Brain freezes that hurt.
12.) Sneezing and never recieving a "bless you."
13.) Requiring that someone "Bless you." I know that 12 and 13 are seemingly in opposition, but if you're in the middle of a sentence and someone sneezes, or if they're on the telephone and you can't tell if they sneezed or coughed, or if you're on the telephone with someone else and they sneeze in the next room, there is no law that says you have to bless that person.
14.) Hearing people go to the bathroom.
15.) When people see fit to bring up embarassing/ hurtful/ horrid things from your past "just in jest."
16.) Smelly feet.
17.) People who sleep all day and are awake all night playing loud music or trying to get you to be awake all night.
18.) People who blame you for something they botched.
19.) People who are justified in their own minds about picking a fight/ picking on/ otherwise annoying and destroying peoples lives.
20.) People who make extremely long absurd lists about truths that everyone already agrees upon
There were more, but I can feel my readers dozing off "like the insesent out of tune of a violin"...
Night
I was having my nightly phone call from the previously un-aformentioned Mr... Mr... Mr.Cool, and we were making a list of things that annoy us/ make us cringe or generally ruin our lives when I noticed his voice getting fainter and fainter and finally, a light snoring sound on my side of the line. After a few "yoo-hoo"s and whispers of his name I finally smiled and bid him good night.
But, As for the list we made, here's just a small sampling of it:
1.) People who think Basketball is sponsored by the National Boxing league
2.)People who think that learning about culture and studying the world will make them demi-gods and therefore they are too self-sufficient for a Savior.
3.) People who think you owe them something. Or who think they own you. People who think that just because they're "nice enough" to you that you should bow to their will forever.
4.) People who think that You're selfish when you haven't got the time or energy to be there for them EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY.
5.) Hypocrites.
6.) The plastic sticky wrappy thingys on cds and DVDs.
7.) Friends who know nothing about you.
8.) People who complain when they are not perfect.
9.) People who complain when you're not perfect.
10.) When someone doesn't value your opinion as highly as their own.
11.) Brain freezes that hurt.
12.) Sneezing and never recieving a "bless you."
13.) Requiring that someone "Bless you." I know that 12 and 13 are seemingly in opposition, but if you're in the middle of a sentence and someone sneezes, or if they're on the telephone and you can't tell if they sneezed or coughed, or if you're on the telephone with someone else and they sneeze in the next room, there is no law that says you have to bless that person.
14.) Hearing people go to the bathroom.
15.) When people see fit to bring up embarassing/ hurtful/ horrid things from your past "just in jest."
16.) Smelly feet.
17.) People who sleep all day and are awake all night playing loud music or trying to get you to be awake all night.
18.) People who blame you for something they botched.
19.) People who are justified in their own minds about picking a fight/ picking on/ otherwise annoying and destroying peoples lives.
20.) People who make extremely long absurd lists about truths that everyone already agrees upon
There were more, but I can feel my readers dozing off "like the insesent out of tune of a violin"...
Night
Thursday, April 21, 2005
I just had the worst possible dream. Worst only in comparison to life itself.
It was one of those dreams where you're so exhausted that your brain is too tired todream and now it's just reciting your days thoughts in the most random order. I was in Mr. Future millionaires room and he was showing me some paper only in dreams you supposidly can't read anything so I guess that doesn't matter. then he got down on one knee and started professing his love you me, most nearly the same way he did a year ago today. And then I said yes. But I said "yes Mr.Hamster" Then he pushed me off the cliff. And I woke up crying and apologizing to, oh yes, air.
Who does that? I would push me off the cliff too, Mr. Millionaire.
It was one of those dreams where you're so exhausted that your brain is too tired todream and now it's just reciting your days thoughts in the most random order. I was in Mr. Future millionaires room and he was showing me some paper only in dreams you supposidly can't read anything so I guess that doesn't matter. then he got down on one knee and started professing his love you me, most nearly the same way he did a year ago today. And then I said yes. But I said "yes Mr.Hamster" Then he pushed me off the cliff. And I woke up crying and apologizing to, oh yes, air.
Who does that? I would push me off the cliff too, Mr. Millionaire.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
ok... Irony of ironies, I wrote a perfect blog entry today and a technical difficulty prevented it from being posted. (My computer ate it, atleast it wasn't an operator error this time) It was a perfect entry about a certain Mr's obnoxiously flighty sister, whom I have called both my bestf riend and my worst enemy, sometimes both in the span of a day.
But maybe I should take a hint that when blogger, my own hand, or my computer deems something I pour all of my heart and soul into worthless, that maybe I should change the topic or approach of that particular entry.
Instead of dishing the latest gossip and comtemplating the importance of the alliance that we sometimes form and how it affects life as I know it, I will list for you dilligent readers acceptable qualities for my Mr. Bunny, since I listed the qualities that he must not have in a former blog entry.
1. He must like creamy peanut butter. Miss. Loquacious would understand this reference. There is just no reason to have two types of peanut butter in one fridge, and I'm sure it means something if they would like crunchy peanut butter... But I'm not sure what that is...
2. He must live up to the name "Mr.Bunny" in it's simplest form. I'll refresh your memory: Mr. Bunny derives his name from the toppers that will be on our wedding cake. Any one who needs any more information than that is in obvious opposition to my needs...
3. He must be in love with me at first sight.
4. Non-christian applicants need not apply.
5. He must understand the humor and the rediculousness in #3.
6. He must like lip gloss. I wear it all the time and I don't plan on changing...
7. He must be ok with the attitude exemplified in #6.
And finally, #8. He must be able to ignore this whole list and/or make a list in strict oppostition to it.
If anyone wants more informantion on how to apply for the position of Mr.Bunny, call me.\
But maybe I should take a hint that when blogger, my own hand, or my computer deems something I pour all of my heart and soul into worthless, that maybe I should change the topic or approach of that particular entry.
Instead of dishing the latest gossip and comtemplating the importance of the alliance that we sometimes form and how it affects life as I know it, I will list for you dilligent readers acceptable qualities for my Mr. Bunny, since I listed the qualities that he must not have in a former blog entry.
1. He must like creamy peanut butter. Miss. Loquacious would understand this reference. There is just no reason to have two types of peanut butter in one fridge, and I'm sure it means something if they would like crunchy peanut butter... But I'm not sure what that is...
2. He must live up to the name "Mr.Bunny" in it's simplest form. I'll refresh your memory: Mr. Bunny derives his name from the toppers that will be on our wedding cake. Any one who needs any more information than that is in obvious opposition to my needs...
3. He must be in love with me at first sight.
4. Non-christian applicants need not apply.
5. He must understand the humor and the rediculousness in #3.
6. He must like lip gloss. I wear it all the time and I don't plan on changing...
7. He must be ok with the attitude exemplified in #6.
And finally, #8. He must be able to ignore this whole list and/or make a list in strict oppostition to it.
If anyone wants more informantion on how to apply for the position of Mr.Bunny, call me.\
I have a bit of a dilemma that i would like to share with you all, without of course sharing names or any really specific details. But this is going to be difficult, so try and follow along and respond as best you can...
I have this "acquaintence." To be most specific, she is my soetime arch nemesis, sometime bosom buddy Mr.Hampster's sister. my problem isn't so much wioth her or how she treats people or her constant back and forth with me. My problem is with myself.
Mr.Hampster's sister is, in my mind, the number two reason why Mr.Hampster and I didn't get married and have 10 babies. (I am reason number one if you must know) She is coniving and backstabbing an self involved... But I feel for her. This world is cruel and it's easier to conform to it than anything. I feel like I could be exactly like her if I just gave up and gave in to the pressures of the world. The "You have to be perfect" pressure. The "You have to have a boyfriend" Pressure. The "You have to be too awesome or no one will even notice" Pressure. I feel like I could ruin people and then befriend them when they have no one else if only to turn them off to the world like i have been tainted if I only gave up... I guess that's why I have such a problem (when we're friends) when people talk about her. I have been caught in the gossip wave that is the topic of her and her behavior. But everytime I am "in her in group" so to speak, I feel this upswelling of compassion for her lost state. I feel like if she just had some dependable, steadying influence, she would stop being irratic and undependable and she would become the sweet, caring, funny person she can be when you're on her good side. But I don't know for sure if that would work for her because I can't seem to consent to being that influence. I can't seem to be nice to her all the time. I can't seem to have this compassion for her all the time. I am just not strong enough to help her.
What's a girl to do?
There is just no easy way to be completely loyal to someone who you hate for 9 months out of the year...
I have this "acquaintence." To be most specific, she is my soetime arch nemesis, sometime bosom buddy Mr.Hampster's sister. my problem isn't so much wioth her or how she treats people or her constant back and forth with me. My problem is with myself.
Mr.Hampster's sister is, in my mind, the number two reason why Mr.Hampster and I didn't get married and have 10 babies. (I am reason number one if you must know) She is coniving and backstabbing an self involved... But I feel for her. This world is cruel and it's easier to conform to it than anything. I feel like I could be exactly like her if I just gave up and gave in to the pressures of the world. The "You have to be perfect" pressure. The "You have to have a boyfriend" Pressure. The "You have to be too awesome or no one will even notice" Pressure. I feel like I could ruin people and then befriend them when they have no one else if only to turn them off to the world like i have been tainted if I only gave up... I guess that's why I have such a problem (when we're friends) when people talk about her. I have been caught in the gossip wave that is the topic of her and her behavior. But everytime I am "in her in group" so to speak, I feel this upswelling of compassion for her lost state. I feel like if she just had some dependable, steadying influence, she would stop being irratic and undependable and she would become the sweet, caring, funny person she can be when you're on her good side. But I don't know for sure if that would work for her because I can't seem to consent to being that influence. I can't seem to be nice to her all the time. I can't seem to have this compassion for her all the time. I am just not strong enough to help her.
What's a girl to do?
There is just no easy way to be completely loyal to someone who you hate for 9 months out of the year...
Monday, April 18, 2005
Ok so i know you all want to know about my blind date Saturday...
It was quite possibly the worst first-date experience I have ever had. He wouldn't talk to me. It was more like an interview really. We shook hands, we sat down, I asked questions, he answered, we went dutch, I went home an hour later than he did, we played dominoes with his sister and future brother-in-law, then i went to talk to my brother and went to bed while he watched anime with his sister and future brother in law. He's not even worthy of a mister title.
Ho-hum, the search for Mr.Bunny continues with no progress..
For those of you who might like to set me up with someone on a blind date, here are a few pointers for semi-success:
1. Don't set me up with someone younger than me... it just never works
2. Don't set me up with someone who can't talk. That's just lame.
3. Don't set me up with a gay guy. Been there, felt that...
4. Let me know if I can wear heels BEFORE i pick out my outfit for the date. There is nothing worse than meeting a 5'7'' guy in 4'' heels when we all know I'm tall enough.
5. If they're not christian, don't bother.
6. If they have the I.Q. of a colony of ants, don't bother.
7. If they use chopsticks as walrus teeth...
8. If they enjoy anime more than human interaction...
9. If they "want to beat"..
10. If they like talking ABOUT cars, jobs, school, The Civil War, Wal-mart, sex or any topic more than they like taling TO people...
11. If they are just lame...
As you can see by the ennumerated list i have supplied my future suitors and blind date set-ups, I'm not very particular. they don't have to be tall, handsome, genius, a certain age, or have particular hair quality/ color. They just have to be human. They hav to talk to me, they have to pretend to care about what i say, and they have to show some intelligent life. Other than that,it's free game. I'm low maintainence, I swear.
No more awful dates. Please.
It was quite possibly the worst first-date experience I have ever had. He wouldn't talk to me. It was more like an interview really. We shook hands, we sat down, I asked questions, he answered, we went dutch, I went home an hour later than he did, we played dominoes with his sister and future brother-in-law, then i went to talk to my brother and went to bed while he watched anime with his sister and future brother in law. He's not even worthy of a mister title.
Ho-hum, the search for Mr.Bunny continues with no progress..
For those of you who might like to set me up with someone on a blind date, here are a few pointers for semi-success:
1. Don't set me up with someone younger than me... it just never works
2. Don't set me up with someone who can't talk. That's just lame.
3. Don't set me up with a gay guy. Been there, felt that...
4. Let me know if I can wear heels BEFORE i pick out my outfit for the date. There is nothing worse than meeting a 5'7'' guy in 4'' heels when we all know I'm tall enough.
5. If they're not christian, don't bother.
6. If they have the I.Q. of a colony of ants, don't bother.
7. If they use chopsticks as walrus teeth...
8. If they enjoy anime more than human interaction...
9. If they "want to beat"..
10. If they like talking ABOUT cars, jobs, school, The Civil War, Wal-mart, sex or any topic more than they like taling TO people...
11. If they are just lame...
As you can see by the ennumerated list i have supplied my future suitors and blind date set-ups, I'm not very particular. they don't have to be tall, handsome, genius, a certain age, or have particular hair quality/ color. They just have to be human. They hav to talk to me, they have to pretend to care about what i say, and they have to show some intelligent life. Other than that,it's free game. I'm low maintainence, I swear.
No more awful dates. Please.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
AHAHAHHAHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO! I JUST WROTE THE MOST PERFECT PROSE PEICE ABOUT MY LIFE AND I ERASED IT BECAUSE I'M A TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS WHORE!!!!!!!! DARN IT!
If I had a nickel for ever corn flarning time I have erased, deleted, or remove a file, Instant message or blog entry because of my fingers not listening to my brain lemme tell you how rich I'd be... RICH ENOUGH TO HAVE SOMEONE TYPE EVERYTHING FOR ME....
So I was just very thoughtfully reposed in the idea that I have known Heartbeaker for four whole years now and I had a very poignient social commentary on how switching bewtween sexual preferences changes everyones life, not just the homosexual, AND THEN I CLICKED A BUTTON AND IT DISAPEARED.
I would try and rewrite it as eloquently as it was intended, but truth be told I usually get so lost in my own unconcious writings that I can't normally recall their topics ten minutes or ten thougts later, let alone rewrite an entire perfect, thoughtful, stream-of-conciousness prose didactic on the world of love.
In short, Mr.Heartbreaker and I went on a picnic with his very nice, very smart, former christian boyfriend and had a very nice time eating gourmet food and looking out over the biggest mountain I've ever stood on. We chased geese, and talked about intelligent but not life altering things and took in the beautiful weather. But I can't help feeling awkward (or dare I say jealous?) when I think about the fact that someone that I might still be in love with (or just "in lust" with) is kissing another man. When I think about the fact that the definition of acceptable love has changed completely for him , I go a little spagetti brained, not to be confused with anything relating to spagetti stare...
The stress that his whole "life change" has afforded me makes me completely understand the reason for gray hairs and wrinkles. Does it make me crazy to be upset that the man to whom I almost offered my virginity to now takes comfort in his boyfriends kiss? Am I in the wrong for being upset everytime I see him kiss his BOYfriend and I think "Hey, thats not funny... I used to kiss him..."?
Truth be told, I believe that my life changes have offended his heart as well. I think me being a christian now is as hard for him to accept as his being gay is difficult on me. Four years and three failed attempts at perfect love later, and I think we know less about eachother than ever fathomable about friends who refuse to leave eachother for dead in this crazy world.
I may not get it at all and I may be thouroughly hurt and possibly disgusted when I see a man I gave my heart to kiss another man, but truth is i loved him. And you don't just stop loving someone or stop being attracted to someone when they've seen you through everything and they know every intimate detail about you for four years. There is a righteousness in loyalty.
I will not become a liar by my own actions. I promised him that I would always answer his call... and I can't go back on my word...
Bring on the gray, I have plenty of hair dye...
If I had a nickel for ever corn flarning time I have erased, deleted, or remove a file, Instant message or blog entry because of my fingers not listening to my brain lemme tell you how rich I'd be... RICH ENOUGH TO HAVE SOMEONE TYPE EVERYTHING FOR ME....
So I was just very thoughtfully reposed in the idea that I have known Heartbeaker for four whole years now and I had a very poignient social commentary on how switching bewtween sexual preferences changes everyones life, not just the homosexual, AND THEN I CLICKED A BUTTON AND IT DISAPEARED.
I would try and rewrite it as eloquently as it was intended, but truth be told I usually get so lost in my own unconcious writings that I can't normally recall their topics ten minutes or ten thougts later, let alone rewrite an entire perfect, thoughtful, stream-of-conciousness prose didactic on the world of love.
In short, Mr.Heartbreaker and I went on a picnic with his very nice, very smart, former christian boyfriend and had a very nice time eating gourmet food and looking out over the biggest mountain I've ever stood on. We chased geese, and talked about intelligent but not life altering things and took in the beautiful weather. But I can't help feeling awkward (or dare I say jealous?) when I think about the fact that someone that I might still be in love with (or just "in lust" with) is kissing another man. When I think about the fact that the definition of acceptable love has changed completely for him , I go a little spagetti brained, not to be confused with anything relating to spagetti stare...
The stress that his whole "life change" has afforded me makes me completely understand the reason for gray hairs and wrinkles. Does it make me crazy to be upset that the man to whom I almost offered my virginity to now takes comfort in his boyfriends kiss? Am I in the wrong for being upset everytime I see him kiss his BOYfriend and I think "Hey, thats not funny... I used to kiss him..."?
Truth be told, I believe that my life changes have offended his heart as well. I think me being a christian now is as hard for him to accept as his being gay is difficult on me. Four years and three failed attempts at perfect love later, and I think we know less about eachother than ever fathomable about friends who refuse to leave eachother for dead in this crazy world.
I may not get it at all and I may be thouroughly hurt and possibly disgusted when I see a man I gave my heart to kiss another man, but truth is i loved him. And you don't just stop loving someone or stop being attracted to someone when they've seen you through everything and they know every intimate detail about you for four years. There is a righteousness in loyalty.
I will not become a liar by my own actions. I promised him that I would always answer his call... and I can't go back on my word...
Bring on the gray, I have plenty of hair dye...
Monday, April 11, 2005
So I think I have finally found a dog that most likely represents my personality if I were, in fact, a dog.
This most annoying little pooch is named Patti. Patti is a bischon Frise (and that is french in case you never knew) Patti is a perfect specimen of dogness (as am I of humaness... as perfect as any pure-bred human can be...) she's tiny and jumpy and yappy and licky and fluffy like all bischons. She loves to love you in the most wet manner (doggy kisses are always french) and she hates it when you love someone more than her. She likes to be pet and she likes to be looked in the eye and she whines insesently when she feels as though you are not giving her enough attention. She never sleeps and she's never disappointed with anyones love. When told no, she tries harder, and when admonished, she loves longer. She's scared when she's alone and she hates to sleep in her cage. Patti has never been leash trained, but she rarely strays from heel position, because then she would feel to far away from things that she knew. Human's Love is Patti's only truth, and staying out of trouble is never an option.
Now if only I could be garanteed someones kindness just because I'm too cute and who else would take care of me if they didn't.... Then I would be as lucky as my annoying, licky, yappy, fluffy, tiny friend Patti.
This most annoying little pooch is named Patti. Patti is a bischon Frise (and that is french in case you never knew) Patti is a perfect specimen of dogness (as am I of humaness... as perfect as any pure-bred human can be...) she's tiny and jumpy and yappy and licky and fluffy like all bischons. She loves to love you in the most wet manner (doggy kisses are always french) and she hates it when you love someone more than her. She likes to be pet and she likes to be looked in the eye and she whines insesently when she feels as though you are not giving her enough attention. She never sleeps and she's never disappointed with anyones love. When told no, she tries harder, and when admonished, she loves longer. She's scared when she's alone and she hates to sleep in her cage. Patti has never been leash trained, but she rarely strays from heel position, because then she would feel to far away from things that she knew. Human's Love is Patti's only truth, and staying out of trouble is never an option.
Now if only I could be garanteed someones kindness just because I'm too cute and who else would take care of me if they didn't.... Then I would be as lucky as my annoying, licky, yappy, fluffy, tiny friend Patti.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Ok I get it. I just don't belong.
I'm like a round peg in a square hole, it may fit, but it doesn't really go there. Everywhere I turn, people welcome me with open arms, but then, it seems, they remember who I am or figure me out and they send me away. Because I'm not good enough. Because they don't need me. Because I JUST DON'T BELONG.
I read you loud and clear. I'm the only foster child with two living parents and who really wants the responsibility of raising an 18 year-old child who still needs a functional mother and father and a safe home and a warm bed and her freedom because she's grown all at once?
I've said it a million time, but I'll say it again fo those of you who missed it: I'm sorry I was born I can't fix it. I'm sorry I'm in your way, just say the word and I'll move. I'm sorry I love you and I'm not perfect, I'll try harder. I'm sorry for taking the air you wanted to breath and living the life you wanted to lead, but I promise soon I'll leave. As soon as I find another place where I can sort of belong until I ruin their lives.
Just wait a little while and I'll be dead, gone, or perfect, I promise...
I'm like a round peg in a square hole, it may fit, but it doesn't really go there. Everywhere I turn, people welcome me with open arms, but then, it seems, they remember who I am or figure me out and they send me away. Because I'm not good enough. Because they don't need me. Because I JUST DON'T BELONG.
I read you loud and clear. I'm the only foster child with two living parents and who really wants the responsibility of raising an 18 year-old child who still needs a functional mother and father and a safe home and a warm bed and her freedom because she's grown all at once?
I've said it a million time, but I'll say it again fo those of you who missed it: I'm sorry I was born I can't fix it. I'm sorry I'm in your way, just say the word and I'll move. I'm sorry I love you and I'm not perfect, I'll try harder. I'm sorry for taking the air you wanted to breath and living the life you wanted to lead, but I promise soon I'll leave. As soon as I find another place where I can sort of belong until I ruin their lives.
Just wait a little while and I'll be dead, gone, or perfect, I promise...
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